tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32014839479541821452024-02-19T01:35:35.071-08:00The Kids Friendly BlogJillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-71103760145793324592017-11-13T15:11:00.002-08:002017-11-13T15:20:51.371-08:00Buckets! 6 reasons why your church needs a big stack by Rev Silvia Purdie<div class="MsoBodyText">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Each church I’ve been in, I’ve gone out and bought a pile of buckets, and we use them practically every week, at Preschool Music Group, but also in church sometimes. Why have lots of buckets? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Here are 6 great reasons:<br /><br /><b>1. Buckets are great drums, and teach music</b><br />Who needs expensive drums? $1 coloured buckets from the hardware story are excellent. Take off the handles, trim off any sharp edges, and you’re away laughing. They’re OK for hand drumming but better with wooden drum-sticks (ideally fat dowling cut about 20cm long). There are heaps of songs to learn drumming to, from those specially written for drumming, to rock songs, to Pacific Island or African drum recordings. Older kids can sit on one bucket and have 3 or 4 buckets in a circle in front of them, as well as things that make other noises when you hit them, and they feel so awesome with their ‘drum-kit’!<br /><br />If you have drums in church, why not put out some bucket drums near the main drums and get the kids up to join in. There’s no one cooler than the drummer!<br /><br />Drumming also teaches maths, with heaps of ways to practice counting. <br /><br /><b>2. Buckets are great for hiding in, and teach ‘object permanence’</b><br /><br />I don’t quite understand why, but give a little kid a bucket and the first thing they do is put it on their head! I guess they like that they can do it all by themselves. I guess they like the way it changes the sounds they hear. But it is also such a great game of ‘peek-a-boo’, which is all about the developing brain coming to grips with the astonishing idea that things continue to exist even when you can’t see them. Kids like putting the bucket on mum’s head too.<br /><br />There are lots of other things than can hide in buckets. Often when kids arrive at preschool music session there is a circle of buckets upside down on the mat, and they can’t wait to lift up the bucket to see what’s inside. It might be a soft toy, or an instrument. This would work really well for a kids’-time activity in church.<br /><br /><b>3. Buckets are great for catching things, and teach sport skills</b><br /><br />At our preschool music group we often put on some cool dance music and set an activity involving the buckets. A popular game is throw and catch; kids can throw balls or beanbags into a bucket. An adult can hold the bucket and try to catch with it. Kids quickly improve their accuracy and ball skills. And things like this are excellent for prompting adult’s creativity about things they can do at home with everyday items. <br /><br /><b>4. Buckets are great for clean up, teaching shared responsibility</b><br /><br />When you have a mess, with lots of things scattered, the fastest way to tidy up is to give each child a bucket and get them to collect things into it.<br /><br />In worship this could be also very useful, for special collections, for congregational activities involving pens, or anything really.<br /><br /><b>5. Buckets are great for construction, and teach engineering</b><br /><br />So far all my suggestions for buckets involve one bucket per child. But what happens when you put buckets together? UP happens! There are two techniques for building with buckets: one involves alternating which way the buckets face and stacking them higher and higher. The other method is like building blocks; first make a wall, then buckets going on top have to cross between 2 buckets in order to stack up a level. You can just see the kids’ brains ticking over double time trying to work all this out. And it is very interactive, teaching team work. But the very best bit, of course, is knocking it down!<br /><br />We’ve used this in worship with the story of the wall of Jericho. You could also create walls for drama sets, or caves, or towers …<br /><br /><b>6. Buckets are great for inventing new ways for using buckets!</b><br /><br />Last Thursday one of our older preschoolers looked at the buckets, and carefully put one foot in one bucket and the other foot in another. I watched as she tested out whether she would fall over, and I held her hand as she experimented with walking. To her great delight she discovered that she could slide off across the hall, letting go of my hand. She was ice skating! It took about 3 minutes before all the other children had noticed her and tried it themselves, even the just-walking toddlers. No adult gave instruction; the kids just observed each other and took the initiative trying out this new thing, all by themselves. It was hilarious to watch, and the adults were in awe of how all the kids were learning amazing social skills as well as creativity with their own bodies and the equipment. <br /><br />The point about plain plastic buckets is that they are so ordinary. Everyone has them at home. They are cheap, colourful and multi-use. You don’t need expensive toys or fancy equipment. Children learn by that fabulous interplay between self and others, when they try something and see how other people respond, when they copy and experiment. The great thing about what we do as church is that we create safe space, where little children and mums and dads and grannies feel accepted and free to be themselves. This reminds the adults who come that what matters at home is the relationships, paying attention to each other and playing together. <br /><br />Kids often arrive for the first time shy, hiding behind grandma’s legs. But it doesn’t take long before they start exploring. And if they recognise some equipment and songs and games from last week they quickly start learning. I get a huge amount of joy from seeing kids and adults enjoying each other and exploring their own creativity. Buckets are great for that!</span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-19407161268670814182017-10-15T16:27:00.000-07:002017-10-15T16:28:12.146-07:00LET THE FAMILIES COME TO ME, by Rev Robin Humphreys, Kids Friendly Coach<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdBs8c6C-4ggfS9oLbrLi4BS13xfnSOXcD73n7yxDJxo7bs84r2RG8PEDSkg-8slGDP8GNn0Xeyfq288gZ43GjZZsUj7Z7rnhwegl57V8b86QFdKdQhlDqIaek6TRtkoNdAiLDHpFXn2k/s1600/Picture3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="1010" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdBs8c6C-4ggfS9oLbrLi4BS13xfnSOXcD73n7yxDJxo7bs84r2RG8PEDSkg-8slGDP8GNn0Xeyfq288gZ43GjZZsUj7Z7rnhwegl57V8b86QFdKdQhlDqIaek6TRtkoNdAiLDHpFXn2k/s400/Picture3.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them.” <br /><br />Until becoming a parent just over two years ago, I had never considered this passage from a parent’s perspective. If I had been in the crowd that day with my daughter, I wonder how I would have felt when Jesus spoke these words. Would I have felt surprised? Relieved? Reassured? Maybe along with my daughter, I would have also felt welcomed? Maybe by Jesus welcoming the ‘little children,’ he was therefore welcoming the whole family as well. <br /><br />I believe this, in fact, is the power behind welcoming children in our churches. By welcoming children, we welcome the whole family. In fact, we more than welcome them, we include them as active participants and contributors in our worship. It is my belief and experience that when a child is welcomed, the whole family is welcomed too. And that when a child is invited to be a full participant in worship, the whole family is invited too. <br /><br />My husband, Paul, daughter, Moana, and I have recently returned to New Zealand. Along with our move to New Zealand, my husband and I are experiencing a new season in our lives. We are a family seeking a home church! This is new space for us, since in the past we have served the local church. We have our ‘child’ and ‘family’ radar on as we visit churches. We find ourselves asking the questions: “Where is our daughter welcome”? “Where is our family welcome”? And, most importantly to us at this season in our lives, “Are we invited to worship together as a family” and not feel as though our daughter is being “whisked away” from us part-way through the service? </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">These questions are not unique to us. Many other families in New Zealand are asking similar questions. As the church, what are our “answers” to these questions? Are our answers only in word? Have we truly put action to Jesus’ words: “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them (Mt. 19:14)”? When we welcome children, we welcome families. When we make space for children in worship, we free the entire family for worship of our Living God. What an awesome responsibility, what an awesome privilege, what an awesome calling! Let the families come to me and do not hinder them! </span> Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-82199118101571711042017-06-07T12:04:00.001-07:002017-06-07T18:24:29.337-07:005 REASONS TO COMMEMORATE THE REFORMATION WITH CHILDREN by Jill Kayser<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLHC-AM870YL_vC1eF9BktOrPkhfLR1elUdCDJlO6eW5eGjhiqff_xRtm_E8gp64sArGDZr8TYtV3AAE6U_FFyrSAEMd_fFdSQqr-Q_sPE_yKqTT9gDOr10W4a02vtvHn4_r_I3vPOJek/s1600/Luther-nailing-theses-560x538.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="538" data-original-width="560" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLHC-AM870YL_vC1eF9BktOrPkhfLR1elUdCDJlO6eW5eGjhiqff_xRtm_E8gp64sArGDZr8TYtV3AAE6U_FFyrSAEMd_fFdSQqr-Q_sPE_yKqTT9gDOr10W4a02vtvHn4_r_I3vPOJek/s320/Luther-nailing-theses-560x538.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">When asked to write an article on
explaining the Reformation to children, I realised I needed to boost my own
knowledge. Martin Luther gained some credibility in my mind some years back
when I attended a conference led by an amazing Lutheran called Rich
Melheim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Listening to this
“Luther-inspired” man I had a “When Sally meets Harry” experience: “I'll have
what she's (he’s) having,” and so I set out to discover what this “one man who
changed the world”<sup>1</sup> did, what this means for us today and what of it
do we share with our young people.</span><span lang="EN-US"></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I emailed eight “Kids Friendly”
ministers to ask them if they had plans to celebrate the Reformation in their
church and whether they thought it was important to include children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Five replied. Three believed it is important
to include children in their celebrations and one had children on their
reformation celebration plans agenda.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">To encourage our churches to include
children in their reformation celebrations, we are developing a range of
resources and offer 5 reasons to <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>share
the story of Martin Luther and the reformation with children.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Reason
1: To share an important element of our “Christian” story</span></b><span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">“Helping
children understand they are part of a movement that has been alive for more
than two thousand years in places all around the world is an important part of
their spiritual formation,” s</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">ays Ivy Beckwith.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">When
my husband, 14 year old son Blake and I visited Rome, sharing the Christian
story was the main deciding factor on what activities we should do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was especially determined to take Blake to
the catacombs because I wanted him to appreciate that our 2000 year old faith
is not something to be taken for granted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thousands risked their lives in those early days to ensure the gospel
endured and many more have done so through the ages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luther was unwittingly one of these great
“saints” or leaders whose story contains timeless lessons.</span><br />
<br />
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Reason
2: To remind children that God does extraordinary things through ordinary
people</span></b><span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Luther was a relatively obscure monk
when he nailed his 95 theses to the door of Wittenberg’s castle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He believed that the true gospel had become
lost under layers of religious superstition, false doctrine and worldly living
and he risked his life to challenge this and the powerful Roman Catholic
church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His actions ignited a
“revolution” that would change Christianity as the world knew it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-US"></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Reason 3: To remind
children that they (and all Christians) are part of the ongoing reformation</span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">The story of Martin Luther and the
Protestant Reformation refers to a particular historical movement, but in
reality the work of reformation is never complete – in us or the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We, Jesus’ followers, continue to be reformed
in the Holy Spirit and I believe, are called to keep reforming to stay true to
the way of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We too must ask: “How
is the gospel “submerged” today?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
like Luther (and many others) we must stand up against what we think is unjust
or wrong even when it’s scary or risky.</span><span lang="EN-US"></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Reason
4: To assure children that God’s radical grace is given freely and not earned</span></b><span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Martin
Luther struggled with the sense that he could not do enough to please God and
that he could never earn God’s love and forgiveness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He eventually came to understand that God’s
love is never earned, but it is given freely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God’s love is like the forgiving father in the story of the Prodigal Son
who rejoices at his son’s return and continues to shower him with love and
acceptance in spite of what he has done. </span><br />
<br />
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Reason
5: To help children know and experience that God can speak to us through
Scripture</span></b><span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Martin
Luther was troubled for many years by his feeling that he was not good enough
for God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What helped him and changed him
and the church as we know it, was Scripture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was when reading Paul’s letters to the Romans (Romans 3: 21-28) that
Luther got it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can stop worrying
about living in perfection and live instead in freedom, knowing we are loved by
God because of God, not because of what we do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Luther’s life was so changed by this that he was inspired to help others
know the Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He spent years
translating the bible into German, the language of the people and then printing
it (made possible with the invention of the printing press) so that people
could read the good news for themselves rather than having to rely on priests
to tell them what the Bible was saying and meant.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">To
help you share the essence of the Reformation with children we are collating a
number of resources for all-age worship, children’s lessons and
activities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look out for them on the
Kids Friendly website and please share your ideas with us too.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: Verdana; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">1.</span></span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/06/martin-luther-one-man-who-changed-the-world/"><span class="Hyperlink0"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif";">https://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/06/martin-luther-one-man-who-changed-the-world/</span></span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "verdana" , "sans-serif";"></span></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-29737198722499954832017-05-01T19:45:00.001-07:002017-05-03T17:46:28.490-07:00PRAYGROUNDS NOT PLAYGROUNDS by Jill Kayser<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjCKRqE0zhrSxzpFiEbKqBaHlxa9FqISiOjpwCtxseTh5VDDEfZ-hIKqyNkokeeAauB83VjiWnG1u7QM1fN_t3hhNl7-KCM2PXZI7_Pv1_yf6LeT4O2cuTyKs6UCdj4NaqBv10C_BKBS0/s1600/healthy+growing++churches+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjCKRqE0zhrSxzpFiEbKqBaHlxa9FqISiOjpwCtxseTh5VDDEfZ-hIKqyNkokeeAauB83VjiWnG1u7QM1fN_t3hhNl7-KCM2PXZI7_Pv1_yf6LeT4O2cuTyKs6UCdj4NaqBv10C_BKBS0/s320/healthy+growing++churches+2.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When we share the "Kids Friendly" vision with leaders we invite them to walk through their facilities (metaphorically on their knees), to see them through the eyes of a child. <br /> <br />We ask them: “What do children see, feel, hear, experience in your church? What does your building and décor say to children?”<br /><br />I was delighted when the minister of a church forced to move premises, contacted me to ask what he should consider to make their new worship space more inclusive of children.<br /><br />Leaders of a church I visited recently proudly showed me a space (playground?) they had created especially for children by removing two back pews and installing a basket of toys. I gently pointed out that children sitting in that space would be completely disconnected and disengaged from the worshiping community. They would not be able to see anything and it would be impossible for the minister to communicate with them from the front of the church.<br /><br /> Children learn by observing and practising. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"<i>Children learn by watching and imitating adults and by projecting themselves into imaginary worlds. Clergy and worship committees must give serious thought to making the Sunday worship truly accessible to children and educating parents and other parishioners to see children as fellow-worshippers, not as intruders who have to be hushed or distracted so that adults are left free to pray!” </i>says<i> </i>Gretchen Pritchard-Wolff in her book “<b>Offering the Gospel to Children</b>”. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And from Ivy Beckwith, author of </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"<b>Transformational Children’s Ministry</b>"</span>: <i>"The act of becoming Christian is the actual practicing of being Christian over and over and over again.” </i><br /><br />We need to create spaces in churches that promote Children's participation, nurture their spirits and recognise them as full and valued members of the worshiping community. <br /><br />At an ordination service I preached at recently, the children were invited to sit upfront so that they could see everything that was happening and those officiating could address them when explaining proceedings. I loved the way they joined in all the singing with great enthusiasm (the band was only a metre away from them) and some danced to the music. When proceedings failed to capture their attention, they returned to lying on their tummies on the carpet working with the material in their “welcome packs”. <br /><br />Children are not only more engaged upfront, they also more attentive and better behaved. I think it’s a misnomer that parents feel more comfortable at the back with their children. If we explain how important it is for children to be included in worship, I think they’ll respond. <br /><br />This trend of creating a space at the front of the sanctuary for children during worship is being coined “praygrounds”. It’s a way of offering radical hospitality to children. Give it a go. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /><br /> </span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-84011885101953456212017-03-16T16:03:00.004-07:002017-03-16T16:12:07.591-07:00NO CONTEST by Rev Stan Stewart, St Heliers Presbyterian Church, Auckland<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">For the last half of my life my wife Pauline and I have
worked to encourage mainstream protestant churches (in New Zealand, Australia
and beyond) to welcome, include and nurture children in their fellowship and in
their worship. <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was mainly mainstream protestant churches that were
established in every town and suburb across the Australia and New Zealand, 50
to 100 years ago. Their buildings look like churches and the denominations are generally
Anglican, Presbyterian, Methodist and Church of Christ.<br />
<br />
Today the numbers attending these churches are shrinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many have closed and of those that remain, many
have few or no children at all.<br />
<br />
There are several reasons why this is so, but this week I have been reflecting
on one of them. I call it the ‘giggle factor’. I recognise that once parents
take the ‘giggle factor’ seriously, churches, Sunday Schools,
Christian clubs etc. simply cannot compete. There is no contest.<br />
<br />
Through my work, I came to understand that the ‘giggle factor’ does not cut
much ice in some religious groups. Mormons, Bahia and some other tightly knit
groups give it no credence. Catholics, Seven Day Adventists and Lutherans have not
been as vulnerable to the ‘giggle factor’ as the mainstream churches either.<br />
<br />
This is how the ‘giggle factor’ works.<br />
<br />
In recent years parents have become increasingly concerned about parenting.
This is particularly so with single parents and parents of blended families
which are the result of divorce or separation. Parents want to raise ‘happy’
children. Happy children in turn become positive credentials for the parents.
On the other hand, unhappy children suggest to the world that something is
wrong with the parent.<br />
<br />
But, how do you know when a child is happy? Many parents assume that the
happiness of the child can be gauged by his/her facial expression. The child
who is smiling and laughing is clearly happy.<br />
<br />
The assessment of a child’s ‘happiness’ by facial expressions has many
variants. Only a few parents would go all the way with me on my assertions
about the ‘giggle factor’. However, the opposite, the ‘bored’ child causes
disquiet to most parents. In our society children soon learn the power of the
phrase, ‘I’m bored’.<br />
<br />
Some of the churches I have worked with have gone to extraordinary lengths to
make children happy and keep them smiling. At a seminar in the United States I
asked ministers to share their ideas about keeping children happy in and around
the church. One minister told us that he had hit upon a sure-fire way to keep
children smiling.<br />
<br />
“He said, “It’s so simple and it always works’. He went on to describe how from
time to time he has a lolly-scramble in church. He said that without
announcement, he would step into the central aisle of the church and throw a
handful of wrapped sweets down the aisle. He said, “The children love it. It is
always a hit. I don’t do it every Sunday, but the children come
each Sunday hoping that this will turn out to be lolly-scramble Sunday”.<br />
<br />
However, few if any liked this idea. It was objected to on educational,
theological, health and law-and-order grounds. But what other alternatives do
we have? Well when the ‘giggle factor’ decides what a child is involved with,
not much. What a church has to offer on Sunday mornings with stories,
songs and prayers is no match for sport, hobbies, TV, and increasingly phone
and computer games. For most children these are vastly more attractive. There
is no contest!<br />
<br />
I have wondered for years about how it is that some groups do not lose their
children and young people. I now think it is about categorizing.<br />
<br />
Many families in churches I have worked for categorize church attendance
and Christian education as an optional extra. Few would say this plainly,
but their actions confirm that this is so. It is placed in the same category as
sport and entertainment and has to compete on this level. As long as it
produces smiles (better still giggles) it is something to support. However, as
soon the children start voicing ‘I’m bored’, it is dropped in favour of
activity that produces smiles (better still giggles).<br />
<br />
Groups like the Mormons, Adventists, Catholics and Lutherans have a different
approach. They categorize church attendance and Christian education alongside
maths and reading. It is seen as a cornerstone of life. If it’s fun, all to the
good, but if it’s not, it remains a priority (like maths and reading etc.). So,
grumpy faces and ‘boring’ don’t come into it. It’s as important as eating your
vegetables. Once this is understood, even with the most loving and progressive
parents, it is non-negotiable.<br />
<br />
Making life decisions on the basis of what makes you smile, giggle or in recent
parlance, ‘whatever turns you on’, is a very bad idea. Children whose life
choices are decided by the ‘giggle factor’ or a variant of it, grow into teens
and young adults who hanker for the adrenalin rush. Chemicals are the most
effective medium for obtaining this rush. Hmmm!<br />
<br />
The other side of the yearning for an adrenaline rush is the determination to
keep pain at bay by any means. America is currently in the grip of a drug
epidemic that is killing almost as many people as die in auto accidents -
28,647 deaths last year. This epidemic is fuelled as much by well-meaning
doctors as it is by dope pushers. Overdoses of the most popularly prescribed
legal painkillers, such as oxycodone and hydrocodone, accounted for more deaths
last year than heroin. (February 2017 - the Centres for Disease Control
and Prevention - CDCP)<br />
<br />
I love to laugh. My silly pranks and jokes sometimes cause others to laugh and
other times embarrass – me included.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
I enjoy parties, “Too much”, says Pauline my wife. But laughs and parties
are not the guiding star by which I set my course. <br />
<br />
Understanding Jesus and relating to his spirit and his people in the local
church is the most important thing in my life. He tells us that a life full and
abundant is to be found in a life of service. The force of his spirit breaks
down barriers race, clan and religions. He said we will meet him in the poor
and prisoner. In his family, no one has more importance than children and
women.<br />
<br />
In our church family, we have a wide variety of beliefs. In some ways, we cover
the spectrum from atheist to fundamentalist. We accept each other and in one
way or another we are all influenced by Jesus. In my view this concept of
community could breathe health into a divided world. These insights are the
very best things a parent and a church can share with their child. These values
are going to be needed in the future that rushes toward us.<br />
<br />
But it can never happen when children’s activities are decided by the ‘giggle
factor’. Nor can it be left solely to the “church school”. The place these
concepts are to be engaged with is in a local congregation, a community, an
extended all-age, international family – just like ours.<br />
<br />
In many ways, we are swimming against the tide of the world we live in. At some
points, it will be difficult for our children and hard work for us. But what of
value in life can be achieved without hard work?<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: black;">Stan Stewart</span></b><br />
<br />
PS: No contest. I realise it is not a contest. Sport and entertainment and what
we do in our church family are two very different things. Certainly, we
have had many laughs together and I am sure we will have many more. But, that
is not our main aim. Our commitment is to building a future of hope and for
that we need everyone, from youngest to the oldest. </span></div>
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-68390944936077653112017-02-06T17:57:00.000-08:002017-03-16T16:09:50.137-07:00Small Things, Great Love and the Size of the Holy Spirit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6oIhSVRD2sRgPYCRDQkA2oqmZljyFu8TcdWR9tTIoQ5kbiYsRAyqZiGgVcKHeITKP_G_ERWwkJGamgXVKKXzkPmTX1Sli7s0won1yzxDtRbFq1xtx1h916nyN5rn9MfxOxU7IUV2MBTG/s1600/small+things+great+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6oIhSVRD2sRgPYCRDQkA2oqmZljyFu8TcdWR9tTIoQ5kbiYsRAyqZiGgVcKHeITKP_G_ERWwkJGamgXVKKXzkPmTX1Sli7s0won1yzxDtRbFq1xtx1h916nyN5rn9MfxOxU7IUV2MBTG/s320/small+things+great+love.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">By Kaila Pettigrove, Kids Friendly Coach<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, Auckland</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In their book <a href="https://www.bookdepository.com/Small-Matters/9780310521037">Small Matters</a>, Greg Nettle and <a href="https://www.bookdepository.com/author/Santiago-Heriberto-Mellado">Santiago “Jimmy” Mellado</a> make the point that “Kids don’t have a miniature-sized Holy Spirit. They have THE Holy Spirit.” </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>The message: Don’t underestimate your children!</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We are desperately aware that many children of the world suffer from poverty. However, it may surprise you that poverty is not a respecter of socio-economic status. While some children lack basic resources such as food, money and shelter; others (who have a relative wealth of material resources) lack empathy, compassion and love. Wherever we fall on the economic spectrum, we all have a responsibility to impart the greatest commandment: Love God first and love your neighbour as yourself. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For some reason, there is a reticence to carry out the second half of that commandment in a thoughtful and consistent manner. Churches (who see children once, or maybe twice a week) are expected to disciple children with additional help from parents. Truly, it should be the other way around: Families disciple and churches help. Churches should stand at the ready to equip and support parents in as they endeavour to impart a lifestyle of love and service to others. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnqY3vnFOhrlJNE0CTV3uwxcoRLrf_gLsGgK4KD_GRgZrz-ZBQ52oUdaOZcT1ypGlRk-LIpqzgHQeSApf0SCQf8tvZ1SPPh-amYxnA8ednbIWY4I5s3t0xDRCPP4lwLW0oLDketqNTJuCL/s1600/children+colouring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnqY3vnFOhrlJNE0CTV3uwxcoRLrf_gLsGgK4KD_GRgZrz-ZBQ52oUdaOZcT1ypGlRk-LIpqzgHQeSApf0SCQf8tvZ1SPPh-amYxnA8ednbIWY4I5s3t0xDRCPP4lwLW0oLDketqNTJuCL/s200/children+colouring.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Our view of children’s ministry needs to change from that of a support for the adult worship </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">(Give ‘em something to do and keep ‘em quiet!)<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>to a full on discipleship programme where faith formation(looking after the health and growth of children’s spiritual lives) is at the centre. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We need to aim for less age-segregation and more integration. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time for age-appropriate learning and activities. But don’t underestimate what can happen when children participate with their elders (role models) in church sacraments and traditions. If you think they’re too young to understand the way in which things are presented, make it accessible to them. Children of all ages learn best through participation. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgseAhYLwKraeaqlPUzGBJmWFm43X9d6HPgzUExiU3uPR4v5lcNLlGkE_1T38To7s1QQEk_9AF1yd8jl8mOYYiDNpw4faRS6d7deeJVGHKU3lNVdfIG4lSVFA1AnkVrPYnJuF3F7DqGhB2/s1600/Chidren-helping-man-in-wheelchair+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgseAhYLwKraeaqlPUzGBJmWFm43X9d6HPgzUExiU3uPR4v5lcNLlGkE_1T38To7s1QQEk_9AF1yd8jl8mOYYiDNpw4faRS6d7deeJVGHKU3lNVdfIG4lSVFA1AnkVrPYnJuF3F7DqGhB2/s200/Chidren-helping-man-in-wheelchair+%25281%2529.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Children need to see themselves as possessing the ability to GIVE as well as receive. Put them in charge of something and serve beside them. Let them make mistakes and help them grow. Don’t forget to tell them “You have so much to offer.”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And remember: Children don’t have a mini Holy Spirit; they have THE Holy Spirit and can do all things through Christ who strengthens them!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Kaila Pettigrove is the part-time Kids Friendly Coach based in Auckland. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Be sure to check out our new "Just Kids" section of the Kids Friendly Website for ideas on teaching children to live a life of social justice. </i></span></div>
KLPettigrovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05985926031058943726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-25864156908338752702016-09-25T17:14:00.002-07:002017-11-13T15:08:37.124-08:00Together in Faith - an intergenerational invitation <br />
By Jill Kayser, Kids Friendly Coach, Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa New Zealand<br />
<br />
I’ve just re-read Hamish Galloway’s 2013 sabbatical report “<b><a href="http://www.hopechurch.net.nz/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Hope_Springs_v4-web.pdf">Empowering the next generation – young adults and the church</a></b>”. I felt compelled to return to this report in the hope that it would add a local perspective to my bulging “kite” of research on intergenerational church . I want to find every possible tool (and voice) I can to motivate and resource our church leaders and congregations to seriously grasp the importance of fostering intergenerational community. Scriptures command it, Jesus role models it, post-moderns desire it, research confirms the importance of it, but as often is the case, the church is the last to get it, even though we were the first to have it.<br />
<br />
“<i>Intergenerationality is our Christian faith’s past and future</i>” says John Roberto, author of “<a href="http://www.lifelongfaith.com/store/c1/Featured_Products.html"><b>Generations Together</b></a>” and founder of <a href="http://www.lifelongfaith.com/"><b>Lifelong Faith Associates</b></a>.<br />
<br />
Our denomination’s commitment to become “Kids Friendly” over the past 13 years has laid a solid foundation for us to build on. Churches who have committed to work to become “Kids Friendly” report a marked shift not only in attitudes to and practices with children, but in the culture of their faith community. <br />
<br />
“<i>Becoming Kids friendly changed the spirit of our congregation to one of openness, joy and energy,</i>” says Rev Nathan Parry, Island Bay Presbyterian, Wellington<br />
<br />
“<i>When we at St Aidan's made an intentional decision to become a Kids Friendly Church, we didn't realise the ripple effect this would have on the whole of our faith community. This has resulted in every aspect of our communal life experiencing renewal and creative energy for mission</i>.” Says Rev Alf Taylor, St Aidan’s Presbyterian Church, Birkenhead.” <br />
<br />
Being “Kids Friendly” has become a norm for many of our churches and paved the way for promoting and facilitating intergenerational relationships.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYM6_f7lkzUCL7sRnIsk_0H5aXBMEd0Z0BUyuArAhH1mARy23IAJr_fH4BypkeBbQ-omaY-8usC_t7HvdffHJRAc_ORjM0NmkpDeFjA9jkNL7KzzatoiyUaKZpS1IDlX8SJiZXji395A/s1600/IMG_1818.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYM6_f7lkzUCL7sRnIsk_0H5aXBMEd0Z0BUyuArAhH1mARy23IAJr_fH4BypkeBbQ-omaY-8usC_t7HvdffHJRAc_ORjM0NmkpDeFjA9jkNL7KzzatoiyUaKZpS1IDlX8SJiZXji395A/s320/IMG_1818.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
An intergenerational community values and promotes all ages worshiping, learning, praying, celebrating, serving and playing together. And “intergenerationality” (as Roberto coins it), like “Kids Friendly” is not a programme, but a practise. It is a way of being that requires intent and commitment from all the members of the faith community.<br />
<br />
Galloway uses Deuteronomy as a framework for his thesis. He writes: “It is a book that delves deeply into passing faith down through the generations. It has timeless lessons for us to apply to the generations of today.”<br />
<br />
Galloway captures his thesis message, the promotion, nurture and guidance of young people in faith, in the word “generativity”. “It’s a word psychologist Erikson used to describe the way those in mid-life can positively care for and empower younger generations.”<br />
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While the motivation for Galloway’s report was to explore how the church (his in particular, but applicable to many,) can best connect with young adults in today’s post-modern world, I believe his findings and suggestions, inspired by Deuteronomy and his exploration of “distinctive generations”, can and should be applied to all ages and as early as possible. <br />
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The command of Moses is to embed the principles of the law in the hearts and lives of a new generation. “<i>Talk about it with your children….</i>.” as Galloway points out himself: “<i>Barna research suggest that if people do not make a commitment to Christ by the age of 14, the likelihood of them doing so is slim, so ‘get faith to your young uns</i>’!”<br />
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Galloway’s research was informed by a young adult focus group from Hope Presbyterian who expressed a desire to have more opportunities for intergenerational conversations and fellowship. <br />
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Embedding an intergenerational ethos in our churches will, I believe, ensure that these intergenerational conversations and friendships are happening from an early age and will continue through the teens into young adulthood. And before we know it this generation of young people will naturally become the older friends and mentors to the emerging generations.<br />
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And let’s not forget this is all about passing on faith. <br />
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People come to faith by socialisation. “<i>Lectures and books are unlikely to be much help (especially in the early stages). What is required is an immersive learning experience, involving socialisation and non-formal learning through observation, imitation, experiment and many hours of practice so that the skills become second nature</i>.” (<a href="http://www.messychurch.org.uk/resource/making-disciples-in-messy-church">Making Disciples in Messy Church, Paul Moore</a>)<br />
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But also and possibly even more importantly, people come to faith through relationship. “<i>What appears to be most important in people’s growth to faith is a loving, caring, close relationship with other Christians. In the nurturing process of our children, we must allow them to develop deep personal relationships with as many of the people of God as possible</i>.” Lance Armstrong: Children in Worship. The Road to Faith.<br />
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An intergenerational church prioritises and fosters relationships across the generations. It creates opportunities for all ages to worship together, learn together, pray together, serve together and play together. “Intergenerational” is a way of being. It is integral to the church’s culture. It is who they are. And being intergenerational is intentional! <br />
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Some pointers for embedding an intergenerational ethos in your faith community:<br />
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<li>Welcome and value all people, ages and stages, equally</li>
<li>Recognise disciples are made in community</li>
<li>Understand disciple-making requires intentional, non-formal apprenticeship-style, experiential learning and formal learning</li>
<li>Foster and facilitate good relationships between young and old</li>
<li>Empower leaders and the congregation to role model this way of being</li>
<li>Welcome and bless the lowest and the least</li>
<li>Love and serve one another and your community</li>
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<br />Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-53787657939509526352016-08-10T18:19:00.001-07:002016-08-10T19:50:54.431-07:00Singing together in church<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
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In most of our churches, children are present for the first part of the worship service, but we don't always consider them (along with others) when choosing songs and hymns.<br />
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Some churches include a children's song in their 'time with the children", but what about the other songs we sing? And if there's a ‘children’s song’ does that mean all the other songs are not for them? When we (Kids Friendly) are asked by churches: “Can you suggest some children’s songs?” We suggest choosing songs that ALL God's children love to sing when worshipping together. <br />
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While there is a place for upbeat children's songs with actions it may not be in the all age worshipping community. Children too enjoy hymns and even the ‘oldie but goodie’ songs that the congregation remember singing as children.<br />
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“Churches often choose music and worship forms according to the taste of the children in their midst – but their tastes are not yet biblically formed. That is like letting first graders choose what they want to learn in school,” says Marvin Dawn in her book "Is It A Lost Cause? Having the Heart of God for the Church’s Children". (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1997, p.71)<br />
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"A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest," said C.S. Lewis. Could the same be true for ‘a children’s song?’<br />
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Do adults cringe as they sing silly words? Are children asked to come up and ‘perform’ the actions? We think there's a better way to share the richness of our faith through words and tunes that inspire us and sustain us for life.<br />
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We encourage church worship teams to carefully consider their context and how all ages can better participate together in worship, including the sung worship. Children bring their special gifts to worship and grow in their faith through regular inclusion and participation in the worship of the congregation.<br />
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Mike Burn, in his book “Family Worship 3” says: “In the secular world, the generations tend to be polarised, but in the kingdom of heaven, we are called to unity across all of the divides: national, cultural, denominational, generational. Where the world tends towards enmity and separation, we are called towards love and reconciliation. Surely that should be reflected in our praise and worship together? There are bound to be musical tastes and preferences which differ in the church, but if we "prefer one another in love", then there should be something for everyone in our worship. Music is one of the most powerful communicators, and when we can sing with one voice, it does something powerful in the spiritual realm in demonstrating that we really are one body.<br />
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It can be a real challenge for worship leaders to include and satisfy all ages, but a key is to choose songs which cross the boundaries of different ages, and embrace an attitude that everyone matters and should be included in worship. <br />
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“In the same way that we want to value and include children and youth in our worship, we should value and include older generations too. It's not a question of compromising and trying to placate all the different ages and preferences we find in the church, but rather a question of saying that every single person is valuable and therefore should be included in what we do together,” says Mike Burn.<br />
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“Family worship can be compared to a family meal time, where there is something for everyone. There are times when adults will dine without children, for example at a dinner party and times when children celebrate with their peers like a kids' party. There's nothing wrong with these occasions - they're wonderful, but we need the family meal regularly to express our togetherness, and ensure a healthy diet for everyone. So too we need times when we worship together as the whole family of God.”<br />
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And remember that church worship is a public communal activity not a private devotion.<br />
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“Some churches seem to treat sung worship as an ‘insular’ experience. This is reinforced with a practice of closing eyes to indicate fervour and earnestness. But worship is first and foremost a communal activity. I often encourage people to engage in ‘eyes open’ worship, to make eye contact and acknowledge one another. In Isaiah 6, the Seraphs are singing ‘Holy, holy, holy’ not to God, but to one another. They are reminding each other of God’s truth. Our children are particularly vulnerable to this ‘insular’ way of worship, and can even be seen as an obstacle to it. My suggestion is that worship with children needs to be communal and relational, not individual and internal,” says Malcolm Gordon, PCANZ’s Worship, music and arts enabler.<br />
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<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/singing-together-in-church/">Download our Kids Friendly TIPS FOR CHOOSING MUSIC FOR ALL AGES TO SING TOGETHER</a><br />
<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/singing-together-in-church/"><br /></a>
<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/singing-together-in-church/">Download SONGS WE LOVE TO SING TOGETHER IN CHURCH</a><br />
<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/singing-together-in-church/"><br /></a>
<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/singing-together-in-church/">Download SONGS TO USE WITH CHILDREN IN CHURCH, HOLIDAY CLUBS, KIDS CLUB AND SCHOOLS</a><br />
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This blog is a collaboration between Kids Friendly and Malcolm GordonJillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-50486274013023988522016-03-03T18:53:00.002-08:002016-08-10T19:49:35.537-07:00Raising Up Young “Transformer” Leaders <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNm5eD8RjjzPoYTK5Gpu781oQUOVSBnn_7iuugbNrc_3LV4iB_P2wd3Jr-O2wK4dzLt2AP6_0RDrcW84_hTJxUYG2RWjJIdY6oDAUBBTvXK5_RhZokmVnsbXWnXb-KcfqCuEawaRmN4Qc/s1600/Jenny.JPG" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNm5eD8RjjzPoYTK5Gpu781oQUOVSBnn_7iuugbNrc_3LV4iB_P2wd3Jr-O2wK4dzLt2AP6_0RDrcW84_hTJxUYG2RWjJIdY6oDAUBBTvXK5_RhZokmVnsbXWnXb-KcfqCuEawaRmN4Qc/s320/Jenny.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption">Jennie McCullough is the<br /><br />Children, Youth and Families Ministry<br /><br />Leader at Knox Presbyterian Church<br /><br />in Waitara. She has extensive<br /><br />experience in discipling and<br /><br />raising up young leaders. </td></tr>
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<br /><br />By Jennie McCullough<br /><br />A leader is a person of influence and we as children and youth leaders can encourage and teach our young people Biblical leadership which is leading by serving.<br /><br />This style of leadership is transformational in a world that is totally self-centred and it makes an incredible impact in our churches and communities. <br /><br />Servant leadership is key to growing disciples, those who put their trust in Christ, and are indwelled and empowered by the Holy Spirit. Those who are established in faith are called to disciple and mentor those new in faith. While many understand the importance of this, they often resist doing it. They claim they don’t know how. But really all that is required is for the more mature person of faith to journey with the beginner Christian. As C.S. Lewis said when asked what a mentor is: ““Think of me as a fellow patient in the same hospital who having been admitted a little earlier, could give some advice.” <br /><br />Servant Leadership can be developed at any age and is especially effective if you start with young Christian people who are transitioning from childhood at the age of 11 and 12 years. Learning to serve in practical ways helps young people find their strengths and gifts. It also helps them find purpose and drives them to go deeper in their faith. During the mentoring process they establish relationships with people who become “significant others” and influence and guide them at a time when they are starting to individuate and explore values apart from their families. <br /><br />During this process being part of a peer community is absolutely vital as this age group (11 to 17) need to travel together, often working according to the SBT (Saul, Barnabus, Timothy) principle. And don’t be tempted to segregate your young people by age. Integrating all ages provides a stretch and grow environment - the more mature demonstrating faith, knowledge, character and skill that the less mature can aspire to, which in turn develops their esteem, sense of purpose and acceptance.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqfyadqJHijM5sH3XpJLE7LtO75XAT403IUxxrY2Y-1ZQNMEhpzhLJasBBEDZ1X1ImhWmB343vhiJIHSvOEx72J1pRrdE_XK5Oo26bP1_r_-RrSfPVbjy5jjRMIxDHb3IiTPhdzDAyPA/s1600/Pic-Transformers-highest-structure-2-copy-300x300.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbqfyadqJHijM5sH3XpJLE7LtO75XAT403IUxxrY2Y-1ZQNMEhpzhLJasBBEDZ1X1ImhWmB343vhiJIHSvOEx72J1pRrdE_XK5Oo26bP1_r_-RrSfPVbjy5jjRMIxDHb3IiTPhdzDAyPA/s200/Pic-Transformers-highest-structure-2-copy-300x300.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br />Transformers – Raising Up Young Leaders is an initiative of Kids Friendly that introduces servant leadership to children age 10 – 13 years at a weekend camp. Mentors accompany children to camp and continue the mentoring and discipleship process back in their churches. To find out more see <a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/transformers/">http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/transformers/</a>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-11536143558487401272016-01-12T15:16:00.001-08:002016-06-14T17:40:59.596-07:00Sunday School – to be or not to be. By Jill Kayser<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDOikHpgZ-cNXSYCZVgAs22Sfc4mx7gf0A76QMvP_-kBQhrkLkqKE_tJNe6mGBRveeCF6lvQdReenaj9z_Zu798Ys1OgJe07jskfCw1wWtUx-vsYN0tlPobO83IVNJPzxh7kkmG4ue3U/s1600/P1010074.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDOikHpgZ-cNXSYCZVgAs22Sfc4mx7gf0A76QMvP_-kBQhrkLkqKE_tJNe6mGBRveeCF6lvQdReenaj9z_Zu798Ys1OgJe07jskfCw1wWtUx-vsYN0tlPobO83IVNJPzxh7kkmG4ue3U/s320/P1010074.JPG" /></a><br />
There's a lot of talk in the church currently about the future of Sunday School.<br /><br />Our longtime friend Rich Melheim of <a href="http://www.faithink.com/">Faith Inkubators</a> promotes cross generational learning and worship through his provocatively titled movement “<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/497608460258081/">Killing Sunday School</a>” and his facebook page is one to follow if you’re interested in building an intergenerational church.<br /><br />One argument for promoting the “death” of Sunday School is that children gain as much (and possibly more) Christian education by worshipping with all ages than they do in an age specific classroom. However we have to be careful not just to “kill” Sunday School without ensuring that our style and content of worship is inclusive of children. I love Rev Alison Sampson’s suggestion that we should intentionally “interrogate” our worship service to make it more inclusive for all (see our past blog “<a href="http://thekidsfriendlyblog.blogspot.co.nz/2015/06/interrogating-worship.html">Interrogating Worship</a>).<br /><br />I’m not convinced we have to take the “all or nothing” approach, but I do believe that we do need to seriously consider the arguments and research findings that today’s young parents are more inclined to respond to an event that enables them to worship with their children, than “drop them off” or be segregated according to age.<br /><br /><br />I enjoyed Rev Rebecca Kirkpatrick’s recent blog “<a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/2016/01/planting-seed.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BreadNotStones+%28Bread%2C+Not+Stones%29">Planting the Seed</a>” sharing her experience of worshipping with their young son when they lived overseas working for Presbyterian World Mission. She found there were many benefits to being a part of a diverse and eclectic community of faith despite the fact that there were few children and no Sunday school for her son. At first she was concerned that he would miss out on the thoughtfully designed Christian education programme that he had in the States that exposed him to some of the great stories of the Bible, but soon realised that by not leaving worship to attend Sunday school, he was hearing over 150 readings from scripture (both the Old and New Testaments) as well as 80 sermons on those texts. <br /><br />“This meant he recited the Apostles’ Creed the same number of times, watched me put our family offering in the plate the same number of times, and prayed the Lord’s Prayer just as many times,” says Rebecca.<br /><br /> “It also meant that for the first time I felt a personal obligation to be his primary Christian educator. In our previous congregation I was his pastor and helped to shape the curriculum that was used in his Sunday school classes, but with the hectic schedule of a pastor on any given Sunday morning, I relied heavily on my colleagues and the volunteers in our classrooms to mentor my child in the faith.” <br /><br />“For the first time we read the Bible together as a family. For the first time we had a chance to talk about what happened at church that morning (on our way back from church on the Cairo metro). Even the experience of choosing the church provided some good opportunities to talk as a family about what we value in a faith community.” <br /><br />While in Egypt Rebecca was working on my book that has been released this month from Westminster/John Knox Press - <a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/p/100-things-every-child-should-know-book.html">100 Things Every Child Should Know Before Confirmation. </a><div>
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“Writing that book gave me motivation to talk one on one with our son about different parts of the Bible and the Christian faith, often using him as a guinea pig for the ideas outlined in the book. <br /><br />Watch out for this book which we’ll order for our Kids Friendly catalogue in the Hewitson library.<br /><br />To read Rebecca’s full blog see <a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/2016/01/planting-seed.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BreadNotStones+%28Bread%2C+Not+Stones%29">Planting the Seed</a>.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-50767795173229525622015-11-24T14:45:00.001-08:002021-12-03T13:17:42.193-08:00How To Really Rock This Christmas Season! by Kaila Pettigrove<br />
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Summer is coming…<br />
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Imagine lying on the ocean, in a boat or on your back, just letting the waves rock you back and forth…back and forth. From birth, we find rocking a soothing motion – hence the popularity of cradles and rocking chairs (used at each end of our life!). Back and forth, back and forth.<br />
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And yet, before we can truly enjoy summer; we must “get through” the Christmas season. Hardly a back and forth –with pageants and prizegivings, candlelight, and Christmas Day services – we are racing to go straight through. <br />
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BUT WAIT! Advent is coming…literally. As you may know, advent means “coming.” Rather than going straight through, it denotes the beginning of our circular church calendar. <br />
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As the Rev. Jerome Berryman explains in his book Young Children and Worship, the Church <i>“tells time by celebrating the events of Jesus’ birth, life, death, resurrection, and His ascension and the gift of the Holy Spirit.”* </i>The cycles and traditions of Advent and Easter add meaning and accomplishment to our lives. Children especially love ritual and repetition, and so do we! Whether you follow an advent calendar, light candles, or complete a series of acts of kindness; marking the time leading up to Christmas enables us all to build anticipation to the ending of one part of the church year and beginning a new one. We are all “born anew” when we celebrate the coming of Christ and God’s ultimate act of love in our lives. <br />
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What ritual will you incorporate into your church and your private life this season? How will we acknowledge our innate sense of rhythm and need for that repetition and cyclical feeling? Take a moment, swing on a swing or rock on a rocking chair. Then make a commitment to your advent ritual.<br />
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For more ideas, visit: <a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/advent-and-christmas-resources-2015/">http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/advent-and-christmas-resources-2015/</a><br />
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Kaila Pettigrove is a Part Time Kids Friendly Coach based in Auckland. Every year, she tries and tries to make space to celebrate Advent with her family. </div>
KLPettigrovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05985926031058943726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-42689701572805027142015-11-02T14:32:00.000-08:002015-11-02T14:58:29.649-08:00The people of God in the work of God<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I was meeting with one our “Kids Friendly” churches recently to help them review their ministry to and with young people and their families. It’s a church with a real heart for serving its community and one that invests abundantly in children’s ministry.<br />
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When our discussion turned to worship, the minister asked me what I had observed. I don’t really like to be the official “critic”, but my 12 years as Kids Friendly coach means I just can’t stop myself reflecting on how children could be better engaged in the time they are in worship with all ages.<br />
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As I shared some of my reflections, the minister responded that their church is not very “liturgical” so can’t really embrace the Kids Friendly suggestions for including children in worship.<br />
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Of course I disagreed, as every church, no matter its style of worship, can and must include children in worship if we are to help children belong, believe and become disciples of Christ. Christian educators have long recognised that people come to faith primarily by engaging in the practices of faith. And worship is one of our key practices of faith. <br />
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Pastor Alison Sampson in her article “<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/worship-together/worshipping-with-children/">Welcome Children</a>” suggests we need to interrogate our worship (specifically the time children are “in”) to identify what more we can do to engage children. And she reminds us that when children are engaged, invariably adults are too! “It’s not about “dumbing things down,” she says, “but rather finding ways to add movement and symbolic actions that are interesting to all ages.”<br />
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In his blog “<a href="http://worship.calvin.edu/resources/resource-library/the-sermon-for-children/">The sermon for children</a>”, Pastor Randy Engle suggests “There are a host of ways to involve children in worship that are only limited to the creativity and boldness of worship planners.”<br />
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This minister and I had a good chat about our faith practices and ideas for involving children in them. I challenged the absence of children in communion the day I participated and discovered children are not invited to participate in communion at this church, not because of any theological objections, but just because they never have…. <br />
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Hopefully these Kids Friendly conversations will continue, that’s if they invite me back!<br />
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The comment about their church not being “liturgical” really got me pondering, so when I got back to the office I followed my teenage son’s solution to all life’s quandaries and “googled” it. And this is what Mr Google had to say: “In the Christian tradition liturgy means the participation of the people of God in the work of God.”<br />
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Let’s invite all God’s people to participate in the work of God!Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-15092499665725458592015-10-11T17:50:00.001-07:002015-11-02T14:18:45.077-08:00Practicing the Eucharist<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Have you ever intentionally observed your congregation as they participate in the sacrament of communion. Maybe you're too focused on the sacred act (which is what I'm meant to be too), but 12 years in the role as Kids Friendly coach has trained me to be a "fly on the wall" of worship services. I can't help but see everything from the view of an outsider, especially, but not only, when it involves children (or not).<br />
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So in some churches I notice a basket of tiny squares of white packaged bread being passed along, followed by a precariously balanced tray of wee glasses of red juice. We don't use each others names or say anything to each other. We don't even look at at each other. <br />
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At other churches we stand in long lines, some more reflective than others. (It's not unusual at our church for adults to be chatting about the rugby score as they wait their turn). Once when I took the kids out to teach them about communion, I reminded them to talk with God in their hearts (not their friends) while waiting to receive communion. Later when we returned to participate in communion I noticed the kids telling their parents off when they heard them chatting in line!<br />
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So what does our practice of the Eucharist say about us as "people of the way" and the way we eat and live together? In her blog "Why the Eucharist is useless (unless we put it into practice)", Kathleen encourages us "God's people" to gather around a table as equals, sharing our lives and stories and pieces of ourselves as we journey through faith together. She suggests that when communion was reduced to an "object lesson, we lost something huge, a central component of our faith expression, a core practice that changed us from isolated individuals into a connected family."<br />
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I remember a couple of years back attending a World Vision "Just Church" conference. Our lunch was a feast for well over 100 seated guests and became communion. At specific times during the meal we were invited to stop and give thanks for the food we enjoyed, engage with each other and remember Jesus and his place in and calling on our lives. It was very powerful and I could just imagine how amazing it would be to have all ages involved in this expression of communion.<br />
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In her blog Kathleen shares ways some communities of faith are seeking to bring back the table into worship. <a href="http://www.churchinacircle.com/2015/10/10/why-the-eucharist-is-useless-unless-we-put-it-into-practice/"><b>Read more....</b></a><br />
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And while on the subject of communion you might enjoy Tim Schenk's post <a href="http://www.buildfaith.org/2015/10/09/kids-communion-10-things-to-tell-them/"><b>Kids and Communion: 10 things to tell them.</b></a><br />
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And don't forget to check out the many resources and articles we have on our Kids Friendly website on welcoming children at the table. And please share your experiences and resources with us too.<br />
<a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/worship-together/children-and-communion/"><b>Click here to explore</b></a><br />
<br />Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-21731343631141935942015-08-30T16:09:00.001-07:002015-08-30T16:22:11.190-07:00Welcoming all God's children - Disability and our Church by Jill Kayser and Antonnia Hannah<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Some years ago I took a call from a young mum whose young son had Down
Syndrome. She was looking for a church
to attend with him and following some hurtful experiences during her “church
shopping” phase, she decided it would be best to phone a church before arriving
on the Sunday morning to ask if she and her son would be welcome! Now you may find this hard to believe, but
it’s what happened.</div>
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Normally the caller would have been directed to the minister, but as
our minister Pauline Stewart was out of town at the time, the receptionist put
her through to “Kids Friendly Jill”. I
listened to the mother’s stories of exclusion and intolerance and assured her
that she and her son would be very welcome at our church and that I would look
out for them and sit with them that Sunday.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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A few years before we had welcomed three year old Max, (who also has Down Syndrome),
and his family into our church, St Heliers
Presbyterian. I remember the
delight we experienced when Max’s family (including his two year old sister
Charlotte) joined us on our church camp.
When parents Antonia and Leigh emerged from their tent on Saturday morning
we knew we, their church family, needed to “step up”. Immediately a second tent was found and
erected to create extra sleeping space for the family on Saturday night. It was wonderful to watch the church family
rally around to give attention to and play with Max and his sister Charlotte,
giving their parents a little reprieve from their 200% parenting duties! What a blessing that time was to us, and we
hope they were a little blessed too. It
certainly was a great way to welcome them into the faith community,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Antonia Hannah and son Max</td></tr>
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church and preschool.<br />
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Being “Kids Friendly” means extending a warm welcome to all God’s children
of all ages and abilities. To help our churches reflect on how effectively they
welcome children (and adults) with disabilities, we asked Antonia to describe
her experience of church and to advise us on what we could do to better support
families who have a child with a disability.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“New Zealand is more “advanced” than many nations in their approach to
and treatment of people with disabilities, but there is still a level of
discomfort and fear amongst many when relating to people with disabilities,”
says Antonia. “And this societal
attitude is reflected in many churches.
People with disabilities can come to church, but churches are not
necessarily aware of the disabilities and sometimes don’t provide adequately
for them or consider what it is like for disabled people. ” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Some of the questions Antonia suggests we ask ourselves as church
leaders are:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Do we know / are we aware of the congregation
members who have disabilities?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Do we have ramps that cater for wheelchairs,
Zimmer frames, and prams, say access to the altar?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Are the visually impaired able to follow a
sermon that relies heavily on PowerPoint?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Are families of children with disabilities
affirmed and acknowledged?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Are they welcomed at our playgroups and coffee
mornings?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Are there opportunities for discussions about
disability?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Are inclusive values and love for those with
disability taught to the children of the church? <o:p></o:p></div>
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“St Heliers Presbyterian Church definitely is a part of my son’s life
and a place he feels welcome and safe,” says Antonia. Antonia has set up a disability network at
her church so that people with disabilities or family members with disabilities
can connect. However she is concerned
that many churches rely on a good and empathetic minister rather than a
systematic awareness of the diversity of needs. “I think it would be really
helpful if Churches ensured that the voices of disabled people were heard and
that opportunities for consultations with congregational members with disabilities
were made available” Antonia says “In that way if disabled people are
struggling either physically or emotionally at Church they can share this. As
good as it is New Zealand, for many families it can be difficult being
‘different’ and feeling the warmth and kindness of fellow Christians can make
all the difference”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In 2014 Antonia attended a Council for World Mission conference on
disability in Kuala Lumpur. One of the
outcomes of this conference was the production of a booklet helping churches to
engage with and reflect on disability more deeply. It also includes some practical steps
churches can take to ensure that the rights of people with disabilities are met
and that they are included in their churches and the community. Download the booklet from <a href="http://www.cwmission.org/about-us/publications">www.cwmission.org/about-us/publications</a>
You can also view a document on <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2FywSM0Iq1OaUNIRmhDbjZGWGM/view?usp=sharing">‘Disability
Etiquette’</a> with information on enabling positive interactions.<br />
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-6573285091151643222015-08-19T21:14:00.000-07:002015-08-19T21:15:57.954-07:00Supervision. Why Bother? by Catherine RichardsonWorking with children and families can be the most rewarding and frustrating work possible! One Sunday it seems there are cheerful child-like sponges seated around you participating enthusiastically in the activities you have planned. You just know God is just touching their hearts – and yours. Another week it can feel like your carefully prepared lesson falls off a cliff to land in a crumpled heap – like that half made aeroplane that “someone “ created out of the activity – THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH FLYING!<br />
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Perhaps you find yourself today reading this feeling on top of the world “I am in just the absolutely right place, doing exactly what God has designed and called me to do”. Perhaps you are considering “why on earth did I offer to help with the children – who am I kidding?” I think we can all identify with the latter at different points in ministry. Which bring us to this blog…. Some reading may already have regular supervision in their ministry with children. Some may find themselves thinking “supervision - that’s for paid staff, I’m just a volunteer” or perhaps you might fall into the group that’s thinking “super what?”<br />
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Supervision is not a new concept. Many workplaces, including churches, offer this for staff particularly those who work with, or are responsible for, overseeing other people. Supervision focuses on the “work” of the supervisee and has an educative function. In a nut shell “supervision is a safe, confidential relationship, which provides a regular opportunity to reflect on our work and professional relationships” <a href="file:///D:/Dropbox/KIDS%20FRIENDLY%20DROP%20BOX/BLOG/Why%20supervision.docx#_ftn1">[1]</a>. <br />
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Supervision allows us to process the work that we are doing with children in a non-threatening, non-judgemental, unbiased “safe” place. The desired outcome is that we will grow in or into our role, developing it further and in turn grow more satisfied in ministry. Supervision assists in keeping ourselves and those we work with, safe. It helps to examine boundaries, maintains our accountability, challenges us, and also helps us release our potential, provides encouragement, self-awareness, and depending on what we are willing to put into it, can extend our faith (although this is more of a by-product rather than intention, unlike Spiritual Direction). “Having the opportunity to take already occurred or potential situations to supervision can provide a more complete perspective so that action takes place rather than reaction”.<a href="file:///D:/Dropbox/KIDS%20FRIENDLY%20DROP%20BOX/BLOG/Why%20supervision.docx#_ftn2">[2]</a>Sometimes things happen that we just need to talk over with another person.<br />
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Back in 2006 the General Assembly moved that the Book of Order be amended to include several statements around child safety and protection. One aspect of this is that those employed by Sessions or Parish Councils “accept, and have professional supervision of their work from a suitably qualified person who is not a member of the parish concerned.” <a href="file:///D:/Dropbox/KIDS%20FRIENDLY%20DROP%20BOX/BLOG/Why%20supervision.docx#_ftn3">[3]</a>Interesting that bit about not in the same parish – what do you do when the issues you are facing are with a parent, a child (of one of the elders) or the minister? Knowing the confidential nature of the supervisory relationship means you can work it through gaining perspective and perhaps finding a way to resolve it or “do it differently” next time. <br />
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I guess you could be thinking “that’s all very well Catherine, I’m not paid so supervision doesn’t apply to me”. You make a point, as often supervision does cost – not just in time and money, but also in trusting your supervisor. I encourage you to ask God if this is something that He would like you to explore. Ask your church if they could pay for an hour a month especially if you are a volunteer (some supervisors cost less than you think and some have sliding fee scales). Ask and listen to others who have supervision – how does it benefit them? Finally I’d recommend when starting supervision it pays to go and meet the person, “suss” them out, as the relationship is important. <br />
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If you are looking into investing the time and $ into yourself and the ministry you are in, go pop the jug on, make a cuppa and check out this link to the PCANZ Supervision Guidelines (especially pages 1,2. 5 and 6)<br />
http://www.presbyterian.org.nz/sites/default/files/for_ministers/SUPERVISION_GUIDELINES_2011.pdf).<br />
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You could send Jill a message if you are looking for a supervisor and don’t know where to start, she is creating a list of possible people throughout the country. <br />
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I wish you well as you continue to build the church, may God bless you abundantly!<br />
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Catherine is a counsellor and supervisor in the Christchurch region. She is the mother of two uni aged daughters and enjoys working alongside her minister husband Brent. She has been involved in Children’s ministry since she was a teenager and spent 10 years on the children's ministry team at Hornby Presbyterian Church (now Hope Presbyterian). She now runs a private counselling practice and offers
supervision to those involved in children’s ministry. You can contact her at <a href="mailto:catherine@richardsoncounselling.co.nz">catherine@richardsoncounselling.co.nz</a><br />
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<a href="file:///D:/Dropbox/KIDS%20FRIENDLY%20DROP%20BOX/BLOG/Why%20supervision.docx#_ftnref1">[1]</a> <a href="http://www.presbyterian.org.nz/sites/default/files/for_parishes/07_Supervision_Guidelines_March.pdf%202007">http://www.presbyterian.org.nz/sites/default/files/for_parishes/07_Supervision_Guidelines_March.pdf 2007</a> p2.<br />
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<a href="file:///D:/Dropbox/KIDS%20FRIENDLY%20DROP%20BOX/BLOG/Why%20supervision.docx#_ftnref2">[2]</a> PCANZ Supervision Guidelines revised February 2011, p1. <br />
<a href="file:///D:/Dropbox/KIDS%20FRIENDLY%20DROP%20BOX/BLOG/Why%20supervision.docx#_ftnref3">[3]</a> 07 PCANZ Supervision Guidelines p9<br />
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-82335756609687803692015-06-01T18:12:00.001-07:002015-06-19T09:21:48.386-07:00INTERROGATING WORSHIP by Jill Kayser<br />
<h3>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIltzD8HBUlvntMg7CNQ8WXGET9V3zngK1U8z9ffD33shnYp7eSSc1XUwjsFzsJ3OC5gU-YaWg15VdZl1jsym4AmTfx7iT4lCTuqFfU6F44hPXuOUp_J04hnUEOYZqarX3Hm4t-sSGEcM/s1600/Celebration+Service+138.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIltzD8HBUlvntMg7CNQ8WXGET9V3zngK1U8z9ffD33shnYp7eSSc1XUwjsFzsJ3OC5gU-YaWg15VdZl1jsym4AmTfx7iT4lCTuqFfU6F44hPXuOUp_J04hnUEOYZqarX3Hm4t-sSGEcM/s320/Celebration+Service+138.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Welcome the children</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nothing encourages us more in the Kids Friendly office than when a minister phones (as one did recently) to say that he/she has been thinking about how to more effectively welcome children in church. We can’t get out of the door fast enough to start a conversation.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Christian educators have long recognised that a key to children coming to faith is their opportunity to engage in the practices of faith. As worship is one of our main faith practices, the way we welcome and include children in worship is vitally important if we take seriously the call to disciple children.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Kids Friendly offers training workshops on this important topic (Help there’s a child in my church (<a href="http://kidsfriendly.org.nz/becoming-kids-friendly/kids-friendly-training/kids-friendly-training-workshops/"><span style="color: blue;"><b>http://kidsfriendly.org.nz/becoming-kids-friendly/kids-friendly-training/kids-friendly-training-workshops/</b></span></a>) and has a quick survey (Children in worship questionnaire – email <a href="mailto:jill@kidsfriendly.org.nz">jill@kidsfriendly.org.nz</a> if you’d like it,) to help churches identify gaps and opportunities. However, truly welcoming children in church often requires a culture change.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />I love and highly recommend an article <a href="http://www.kidsfriendly.org.nz/wp-content/Uploads/Welcome-the-children-Equip.pdf"><span style="color: blue;"><b>“Welcome the Children”</b></span></a> I read recently in an Australian publication “Equip”. The minister writer Alison Sampson talks about faith as a “culture” that children absorb when worshiping in community. Her church decided that children needed to be alongside adult Christian practitioners as much as possible, building intergenerational relationships that can ignite their faith. To truly welcome children she suggests we need to “interrogate” our worship services. She adds: “We weren’t interested in dumbing things down. We were interested in finding ways to add movement and symbolic actions that would be interesting to children.”<br /><br />Are you up for “interrogating” your worship service to make it more welcoming of children?</span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-19210301026753758262015-05-07T16:51:00.001-07:002015-06-01T19:42:16.655-07:00The Art of Love by Kaila Pettigrove<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What difference can art make? For many people art is a luxury, an extra, or even frivolous. What can practical benefit can artistic endeavours exact?<br /><br />This question was considered and answered in an amazing way by a ten-year-old girl in Auckland. When her school held a mufti day to raise money for cyclone relief in Vanuatu, Harriet put her art skills to good use. <br /><br />She created and sold mini-stationary sets with intricate detail, gorgeous colours and ingenious accents. <br /><br />I had an opportunity to talk to Harriet about the experience and this is what she had to say:<br /><br /><i><b>Kids Friendly</b>: What inspired you to make your stationary sets?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><b>Harriet</b>: <b><span style="color: blue;">Mrs. F, our science teacher, gave me a bunch of miniature matchboxes. At first, I wasn’t sure what to do with them. It was then that I realised that the mini pencils I had made for my pencil box fit in the matchboxes. Kate (another girl in my class) really liked the idea so I made one for her. Then we heard about the mufti day to raise money for Vanuatu and I started making sets to raise money.</span></b></i></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Harriet’s mini-stationary may not replace<br /> lost items, but her contribution has boosted <br />the efforts to rebuild after the disaster. </span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><b>H: </b><b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;"> The most fun to make were the pencils because I got to choose all the colours and patterns.</span></b><br /><br /><b>KF:</b> Do you have a favourite item? <br /><b>H:</b> <b><span style="color: blue;">My favourite item is the rubber.</span></b><br /><br /><b>KF:</b> How long did it take you to fill all your orders?<br /><b>H:</b> <span style="color: blue;"><b>All together it took over nine hours, 45 minutes for each set I made.</b></span><br /><b>KF:</b> Did anything surprise you about the process? (Was it more/less work? Did your friends react like you thought they would?)<br /><b>H:</b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: blue;">Yes, it took me longer than I thought it would. My friends reacted exactly as I had imagined. </span></span>(They were excited and more orders came in when they saw the first set.)<br /><br /><b>KF</b>: How much did you charge per set and how much money did you raise in the end?<br /><b>H:</b> <b><span style="color: blue;">I charged $2 per set and managed to raise $32. Altogether for the mufti day (from chores, sponsorship and my pencil sets) I raised $122.</span></b><br /><br /><b>KF</b>: Do you know where the money will go?</i></span><br />
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<br /><b>H</b>: <b><span style="color: blue;">All the money raised went to Vanuatu.</span></b><br /><br /><b>KF</b>: What do you hope will be done with the money?<br /><b>H</b>:<b> <span style="color: blue;">I hope that the money will be used to help rebuild the houses that were destroyed in the recent cyclone.</span></b><br /><br /><b>KF</b>: The Kids Friendly art and writing competition always carries the theme, "<b>Love Reaches Out</b>." This year, we are focusing on "<b>Love is...</b>" How would you finish the sentence, "Love is…"? <br /><b>H</b>: <span style="color: blue;"><b>In this perspective, Love is being kind through your actions. <br />“Kind actions do not cost much yet they accomplish much”- Blaise Pascal</b></span><br /><b>KF</b>: Why do you think it's important for people who want to live a Christian life to think about these things? <br /><b>H</b>: <span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">To lead a Christian life is to follow [</span>Jesus’s<span style="font-weight: bold;">] example and lead a better life while helping others to do this too.</span></span></i><br />Harriet’s project is a perfect example of someone using their gifts and talents to reach out to others in love. Harriet spent hours and hours using her skills, brought joy to her classmates, and helped people she didn't even know. <br /><br />When we recognize our talents as gifts from God and use them as such, it is amazing what we can do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidNYh1WQOszECuxjI2sOGS4xwLYNidiNR9SU8ggxARqPoPW_-nXbqLqfpAiOtBe_D15OVyBiB1tvTg-dk1NdOTS94cwEQ4d1mLM0ZwqoxnLR9cW4OuBnc8RDrKNWodmO6LNZRFpQIWl37T/s1600/20150506_122252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidNYh1WQOszECuxjI2sOGS4xwLYNidiNR9SU8ggxARqPoPW_-nXbqLqfpAiOtBe_D15OVyBiB1tvTg-dk1NdOTS94cwEQ4d1mLM0ZwqoxnLR9cW4OuBnc8RDrKNWodmO6LNZRFpQIWl37T/s200/20150506_122252.jpg" width="200" /></a>During our annual “Love Reaches Out” art and writing competition, we challenge children to consider how they might reach out in love to those around them. They express their response through artistic or written means. For more information on entering the “Love Reaches Out” competition, visit our website: <a href="http://kidsfriendly.org.nz/love-reaches-out-love-is/">http://kidsfriendly.org.nz/love-reaches-out-love-is/</a></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; text-align: start;">Kaila Pettigrove is a part-time <br />Kids Friendly Coach in Auckland. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; text-align: start;">Her latest creative endeavour<br /> was teaching her son to snorkel!</span></td></tr>
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KLPettigrovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05985926031058943726noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-3486126559284835112015-04-08T15:07:00.004-07:002015-04-08T15:15:30.431-07:00Do you have a good children’s ministry? by Jill Kayser <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A minister of a church with a once “thriving” children’s ministry shared with me today how they now only have about five children attending church on a Sunday. “We need help!” he exclaimed. It’s not an uncommon story and one that certainly challenges me in my role as the Kids Friendly advisor and coach as I seek to be “helpful” to churches around the country.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />The reality is that children’s ministry, like any ministry, is not a constant. Too often we think all we need to do is offer lots of attractive programmes and all will be well. And to be fair that has seemed to work (on the surface anyway) in the past. But effective ministry with children requires so much more than programmes and unlike programmes, its success cannot be measured in tangible ways.<br /><br />While still reflecting on this church’s situation I came across this blog <a href="https://formingfaith.wordpress.com/2015/03/14/good-childrens-ministry/">“Good Children’s Ministry”</a>. It seemed like a message straight from God. The minister/author shares his “humble learnings on the joys and challenges of forming faith in children.”<br /><br />He suggests that rather than judging our ministry with children as good or bad, we should view ministry to and with children through a different set of lenses.<br /><br />· Alternative Lens #1: Children’s ministry does not consist of only the programmes a congregation offers for children, but is the sum of all its collective interactions with children in the name of Jesus. When an adult or a young person extends welcome, friendship and care to children before, after or during Sunday worship, that is children’s ministry. When a child experiences a non-parent adult as a living model of faith in a cross-generational small group, that is children’s ministry. When a pastor extends a personal blessing to each and every child at the Communion table, that is children’s ministry.<br /><br />· Alternative Lens #2: The most important ministry to children a congregation can engage in is ministry to their parents. Parents are the most significant “faith shapers” in the lives of children. When parents are equipped and supported to share their faith with their children and the parents are themselves growing in faith, then a great deal of children’s ministry will be taking place in “non- gathered” ways. Even if a congregation had no Sunday children’s programme, but was investing in supporting faith-at-home, it would still have a very significant children’s ministry.<br /><br />· Alternative Lens #3: Children’s ministry is when persons of all ages and stages are nurtured as disciples of Jesus Christ. Healthy, vibrant, spiritually mature communities of faith reproduce themselves as people of all ages “do” faith together. Intentional, strategic efforts to develop the faith lives of adults are an important building block for children’s ministry, particularly where these encourage adults to take more seriously their role as spiritual role models, mentors and elders for children.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />· Alternative Lens #4: Authentic and respectful inclusion of children into the </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">worship life of the congregation is an extremely significant component of a congregation’s ministry to them and with them. Because faith is more “caught than taught” and the gathered worship of the congregation is its primary faith practice, it is vital that children are encouraged, assisted and enabled to take their place alongside persons of other generations as fellow worshipers. Children, youth and adults alike are formed as worshipers by worshiping. Excluding children from the primary gathered activity of the church, or constructing worship that does not acknowledge their presence and their capacities to give and receive, diminishes both them and the wider faith community. While children may not fully understand everything that is said and done in worship services (do adults?), they take in and apply much more than adults realise. They can also contribute in more ways than adults often realise and appreciate. It is my personal observation that sustained involvement and inclusion of children in worship into their youth produces greater maturity of faith than exclusion of children into separate “children’s church” activities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />· Alternative Lens #5: Cross-generational activities enable ministry to children by creating space for relationships to flourish across generations. The <a href="https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/articles/moving-away-from-the-kid-table">Sticky Faith </a>research emphasises how important it is for children of the church to know and be known by five or more non-parent Christian adults who are invested in their growth and wellbeing. Cross-age fellowship gatherings, cross-generational learning events and cross-generational service and mission activities can be fertile soil for the Holy Spirit to work in the “space between” people of different ages and stages. Mentoring, buddy or adoptive grandparenting initiatives can also be very effective means of tending the faith journeys of children. <br /><br />“So, does my congregation have a “good” children’s ministry?” asks the writer. “It’s a matter of perception. It certainly is by no means all we might hope it to be. But perhaps what we are aiming for is somewhat different too. Our goal, in my view, is to not be merely a church with a children’s ministry, but to be a church of children’s ministry.”<br /><br />Amen. Amen. Amen! Thanks to this unnamed Lutheran Pastor from Queensland, Australia and to the <a href="https://formingfaith.wordpress.com/2015/03/14/good-childrens-ministry/">Forming Faith</a> blog.<br /><br /></span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-33264666193675978902015-03-02T17:32:00.003-08:002015-03-02T17:32:59.641-08:00Get creative with your prayer by Jill Kayser<div style="line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<strong style="line-height: 16.8pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;">My
reading some years ago of the inspiring book </span></strong><a href="https://www.24-7prayer.com/shop/product/6" style="line-height: 16.8pt;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">“Red Moon Rising”</span></a><strong style="line-height: 16.8pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;"> by Greig and Roberts of the “24/7 Prayer Movement” affirmed my belief
that prayer can take many forms. It
challenged and encouraged me to think more intentionally and creatively about
how I pray with children.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;">So
often when I ask children’s leaders whether they include prayer in their time
with children, I discover it is either omitted or the adults pray while the
children close their eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;">Confuscious’
wisdom: “Tell them and they’ll forget,
demonstrate and they’ll remember, involve them and they’ll understand” is worth
heeding when praying with children.
Prayer is now always central to any lesson I plan with children and
takes all forms: rowdy, interactive, active, quiet, contemplative, creative and
more.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Our Christian tradition is rich in written and spoken prayer,
but this can sometimes involve too much head and too little heart. Physical
actions can really capture the essence of a prayer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;"> In her blog </span></strong><a href="http://www.buildfaith.org/2015/02/25/tactile-prayer/"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">“Tactile Prayer – using your body and senses to
connect with God”,</span></a><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;">
Lisa Brown suggests that </span></strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">lighting candles, holding prayer
beads, or<b> </b>stones, help focus the
mind and give substance to our prayers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Praying through art (see Sybil Macbeth's </span><a href="https://www.24-7prayer.com/shop/product/6" target="_blank"><u><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">Praying in Color</span></u></a><b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">or Roger Hutchinson's </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/thepaintingtable" target="_blank"><u><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">The Painting Table</span></u></a><u><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">,)</span></u><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"> offer
the artist in all of us a way to put the range of our feelings to paper,”
says Lisa. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Kaila Pettigrove, children’s ministry leader at Somervell
Presbyterian is involved in creating an all-age prayer room during Lent. “The
room will include multisensory prayer
stations, quotes on the wall, candles to light, Post it Notes for intercessory
prayer and devotional material (of all reading levels) available. It’s hoped that eventually we can develop a
“prayer gym” with resources and exercises to build up one’s prayer
stamina. The room will be open whenever
the church office is open for people to come and spend time in conversation
with God,” says Kaila. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Lisa Brown shares a multi-age activity for creating
prayer stones. “We discussed types of prayer: thanksgiving, forgiveness, and
petitions. We considered who we might pray for - ourselves, those we love, and
the broader world. Then we created our own prayer stones, drawing images on
small craft store pebbles. I gave each child a little drawstring bag in which
to store their stones.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Years ago I created a prayer wheel for the kids of our
church. They suggested what types of
prayer to list around the wheel and took great delight in spinning the wheel
and then responding with the appropriate prayer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">“Tactile, artistic prayers can create
meaningful community prayer and focal points. I was particularly inspired
by one church's prayers for peace manifested in hundreds of origami cranes,
each one lovingly created and then hung in a cascading mobile. At a holiday
programme, we created a giant prayer cross, cut from a 7 foot sheet of
corrugated cardboard and covered with children's hand prints, each one a
prayer,” says Lisa. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieanu1lJApX7WrshLL0CdoUCGG9o6NDjzv3PjQAkmExgAXWrwPvZ-4zLMn5EGgUVep5rc6u6FcFboR8x91wzmedB5DyHxjvzbjVor-4tcMAgvf11VuJxstQEK_ffZDY_qkTu0vOFDfCvE/s1600/Blake+Prayer+Blannie1S+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieanu1lJApX7WrshLL0CdoUCGG9o6NDjzv3PjQAkmExgAXWrwPvZ-4zLMn5EGgUVep5rc6u6FcFboR8x91wzmedB5DyHxjvzbjVor-4tcMAgvf11VuJxstQEK_ffZDY_qkTu0vOFDfCvE/s1600/Blake+Prayer+Blannie1S+(2).jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blake with his special prayer blanket</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">And tactile and
creative prayers aren’t only for children.
Adults also respond enthusiastically to the many physical forms of
prayer. Members of Waikanae Presbyterian pray as they knit to create beautiful
prayer shawls for those in need. And women
of the Karori community of churches create prayer quilts. My son Blake was a recipient of one of these
beautiful creations when he underwent brain surgery. Each member of the congregation tied Amish
knots in strings hanging from the quilt as they prayed for his recovery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">For more ideas on tactile prayer for all God’s children
see stories of Lenten prayer stations and prayer journeys on our </span><a href="http://kidsfriendly.org.nz/sharing-lent-and-easter-with-children/"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">Kids Friendly website</span></a><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">, </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">download our </span><a href="http://kidsfriendly.org.nz/becoming-kids-friendly/log-on-and-download-resources-2/"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">“Kids Friendly Prayer”</span></a><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">resource, explore the wonderful
world of </span><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/elaynewerges/prayer-stations-and-creative-prayer/"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">Pinterest</span></a><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">and borrow these books from the Kids Friendly
library:</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ideas-Creative-Prayer-Judith-Merrell/dp/1859995896"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;">“New ideas for creative prayer”</span></a><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">and</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Multi-sensory-Prayer-Innovative-Ready-use/dp/1859994652">“Multi-sensory prayer”.</a></span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<strong style="line-height: 16.8pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: normal;"><i>Jill Kayser is the Kids Friendly Coach for the Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa New Zealand</i></span></strong></div>
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-48128259349846351602015-02-10T15:24:00.000-08:002015-03-05T15:30:35.806-08:00The Glue in an All-Age Pew<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><b>"We tend to think of the most sacred places in our sanctuaries as behind the pulpit, table and font or even beneath the cross, but the pew is just as holy. The space between us and among us in the pew is sacred as well." </b></i> Rebecca Kirkpatrick.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have a confession to make: </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When I first heard Jill Kayser suggest that churches scrap their creches and bring beanbags and mats into the church and sit with their bubs during service I was mortified! (GASP!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Noise! </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Distraction! </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How could anyone listen?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>I have changed my mind.</b> I still believe that some people will feel more comfortable in a creche or nursery. I had some wonderful bonding and learning moments with my children in the church nursery. But I do think there is space for our small people to be in the service with us. <b>There is something about worshipping with all ages that brings a community together in a way that is entirely different than a potluck lunch.</b> I wonder if maybe there is some kind of superglue that is created as we bump along </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">together</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> through our hymns, songs, readings and prayers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/p/about-me.html">Rebecca Kirkpatrick</a> sums it all up beautifully in her most recent blog <a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/2015/01/attachment-worshiping-sharing-pew-with.html">"Attachment Worshiping: sharing the pew with one another." </a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br />"It has been two years now since I left my work in congregational ministry— which means that for the past two years I have been able to consistently worship with my family instead of sitting in the “pastor’s” seat in the sanctuary. We have gotten into a particular habit lately, where my son sits in between my husband and I in the historic and weathered pews of our small congregation.<br />Frequently during worship I will feel my son grab my hand and rap my arm around his shoulders. He is still about a head shorter than me, so often during the standing portions of the service he will slip in front of me with his back resting on my front so we can share a bulletin. Regularly he needs a simple reminder in the form of a firm squeeze on his knee to help him be still so as to not distract the kind people who worship behind us every week.<br />I have not gotten too caught up in the attachment parenting pros and cons as a variety of people debate the benefits of baby-wearing, bed-sharing and other attachment practices.<br /> <br />But what I am is a huge proponent of attachment worshipingwith our children: doing what we can to make them feel safe and comfortable in that space; reaching out to them to make worship not just about a singular interaction between the individual and God, but something that we do as a community and as a family that connects us with one another; acknowledging that learning to be still and attentive in worship can be hard for some children (especially mine) and connecting with them physically in that space recognizes the ways their bodies yearn to move and wiggle.<br /> <br />We tend to think of the most sacred places in our sanctuaries as behind the pulpit, table and font or even beneath the cross, but the pew is just as holy. The space between us and among us in the pew is sacred as well.<br />It is inevitable that we form connections and attachments with those next to whom we sit in worship. <a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/2015/01/attachment-worshiping-sharing-pew-with.html">Read More...</a></span></div>
KLPettigrovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05985926031058943726noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-49678241608481021122014-11-05T00:07:00.000-08:002014-11-11T20:00:30.446-08:00Taking (some of) Christmas Back by Kaila Pettigrove<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What is your reaction when you see Christmas decorations in the supermarket before October has finished? For some people, Christmas decorations/trees/stockings are what make the holiday season “feel like Christmas.” Merchandisers have definitely picked up on and exploited this. The sooner they get us into the Christmas spirit, the sooner we are ready to do our Christmas shopping! How do we keep our excitement and anticipation, without getting hijacked by the materialistic storm? <br />
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I am an unabashed enthusiast when it comes to celebrating. Silly hats, candles that won’t blow out and paper streamers are still not beneath me at the ripe age of 43. So when I married a man who runs the other way when he sees Christmas decorations and hides when the Christmas tree appears; we needed to do some compromising. When our children came along, there were Peace Summits held into the wee hours of the morning. <br />
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Over the years, I have gleaned from many sources ways to take back my Christmas Season and make time to reflect. Does that mean that on Christmas eve I am dressed elegantly, sipping sparkling grape juice and reading the Christmas story in Latin by candlelight? Hardly! I still experience all the stress of prizegivings, Christmas Pageants and end of year parties. However, our family has decided on two traditions that are non-negotiable and we make room for them. I’ve outlined these below in case you might like to give them a test drive this year. <br />
The Progressive Nativity <br />
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Sometime before the beginning of December (hopefully) we gather together to unpack our nativity scene. I inherited this gem from my grandmother who spent years collecting the pieces. If you don’t have a set yet, perhaps your tradition could be to make/buy new pieces each year as presents for one another. (Kids Friendly has a great pattern for a knitted nativity for those who are handy with the needles!) Once all the pieces have been unwrapped and remarked over (Oh look, the little shepherd!!!) they are placed at one end of the piano top. The stable is placed at the other end. On the first day of advent, the Angel Gabriel is placed (by my son and youngest child, Gabriel) on his hook at the top of the stable roof. <br />
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My daughters then choose an animal or person to move closer to the manger. (Usually it is Mary and Joseph, but this varies from year to year as our animal-loving instincts sometimes win out and the sheep get first dibs.) Each day (or as often as we remember to do it) we take turns placing one or more creatures closer to the stable. On Christmas eve, Baby Jesus is placed in the manger with great excitement and panache. WARNING: For several years in a row I have had to HIDE Baby Jesus to keep excited people from plopping him into the manger (when no one is looking) before the Big Day. <br />
The Modular Advent Calendar <br />
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Tiring of the “MAY WE HAVE OUR CHOCOLATE NOW?” routine that overtook our advent reflections, I finally prevailed upon a generous grandparent to bestow upon us a re-usable advent calendar. It is made of sturdy pressed cardboard and is shaped like a Victorian House. There are several numbered doors and windows which open into little boxes of varying shapes and sizes. If you have a woodworker in your family, this could be an excellent project! Sometime before advent I fill each box with one of the following: a scripture verse pertaining to the prophesy or Christmas Story, a small treat, one of our nativity characters, or a “challenge” for a family activity (e.g. tell each person in the family your favourite thing about them). Each day the children alternate who opens the Advent door to find the surprise. This is usually done just before dinner so we can talk about what was found and how it relates to Christmas. NOTE: This is a lovely ideal that actually ended up quite stressful in its execution. This year, my daughters (ages 10 and 12) have offered to help me prepare some of the boxes. This means one third of the boxes won’t be a surprise for them, but they are excited about coming up with new things to put in them and surprise their family. I am excited about only needing to come up with ideas for eight boxes instead of 24!!! Now, each day will be very different and each year will be too. <br />
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The best part: My daughters are taking ownership of a tradition and a faith that once only surrounded them is now a part of them. In the flurry and rush of the pre-Christmas season, they know there is a place of calm where they can celebrate and thank God for His precious Gift in their hearts. My prayer is that their brother will one day join them as he grows in his faith…and their father will no longer complain about the Christmas tree. <br />
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<i>Kaila Pettigrove is a part-time Kids Friendly Coach in Auckland. She is married to the effervescent Glen and together they have three children.</i> <br />
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-88667447954769830012014-07-30T20:43:00.002-07:002014-07-30T20:48:34.573-07:00Noise by Mo Morgan<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning my 2 ½ year old son popped into my bed at around 5:30am. He chattered away to me for an hour or so before convincing his Dad to go downstairs and get breakfast on. I dragged myself downstairs a short time after. A shower and coffee usually perks me up and gets me going. On a normal day, the next hour or so goes pretty quickly. There’s lunches to make, chores to be done, a piano to be practiced, a husband to kiss good bye, homework bags to find, uniforms to pop in the dryer because you forgot to bring the washing in last night, bags to pack, 3 kids to strap in to car seats, kids to deposit at school and kindy... then I try and put that to one side to focus on what I might be doing that morning.<br />
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That’s the start of my day. It’s always busy often noisy. Sometimes the noise is happy and that’s ok. On a good day, my children embody the passage ‘make a joyful noise all you people.’ Sometimes, not so much. There are days when the noise my children make is the sort that wears you down. Sometimes I wish they would be still and know that I (I mean, GOD) is God. <br />
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And my children are just one of the noise makers in my life. Everywhere we go, there are noises filling up the airspace, images looking to catch our attention. Some of it we have little control over. Whether we like it or not, there are companies and organisations everywhere, trying to catch our attention. A recent study demonstrated that on average we see 600 advertising images per day. We notice probably 75 of them. Our brains can’t truly notice or process as many at 600 messages a day, so we instinctively skim the surface, browse, graze, take in a glimpse. Most things, even if they relate to values we find important, will evaporate into the busyness of our day. Marketers know this. It’s common knowledge that people today are dealing with absolute sensory overload. So these days marketers go to extreme measures to attract our attention. They know that they only have our attention for a second, if that. If they want us to remember their product, they need our emotional engagement to buy or at least investigate the advertised product or service. <br />
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There are other forms of noise and distraction we do have more choice over. These days we are living in a world where mothers take pride in multi-tasking, busy-ness is a virtue, teenagers talk to each other across the room on their cell phones and everyone’s willing to be interrupted by a Facebook update. Our lives can easily become distracted and disconnected, and how we handle the noise and distraction around us is changing our culture. <br />
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People of the new generation are busy. Busier than ever before. As the church tries to connect with people in the community, should it join the competition for people’s attention? Tempting. But I don’t think so. One of the unique things the church has to offer people who are overwhelmed by busyness and disconnectedness and distraction, is an alternative. Opportunities and spaces to ‘be’ as well as ‘do’. Moments which allow people to ‘let go’ and experience the peace that can be found from just ‘being’. Time to dig a bit deeper, reflect on The Story, think about what’s meaningful and important – not just to us personally, but to the world around us. <br />
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It is a counter-cultural idea but that’s what our leader specialises in. In the gospels, Jesus consistently advocates for being a counter-cultural example in the world. ‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think.’ <br />
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But as well as offering an alternative to the distracted disconnected lifestyle, the church has more to offer people in our communities. The church is called to do more than just connect or engage. We can leave that to advertising agencies. What the church has to offer is the same thing it has always had to offer: Love. I am convinced that God’s love is infinitely more satisfying than anything money can buy on the internet. The story we live by is all about love. And I believe we are not only called to offer it, but also called to generate it in the community. That is our challenge, that is our call.<br />
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What does love look like? Well the answer to that’s going to look different depending on your context, depending on the people in your community. I belong to St James in Whanganui East. Something special has been happening at St James recently. New people have started coming to church. I don’t just mean people defecting from other churches, I mean people who haven’t been to church before. <br />
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Recently we had the wonderful, wise, Jill Kayser visit us to start us on the journey to become Kid Friendly. Jill reminded us that if we wish to offer anything to people in our communities, then children are a good starting point, because of all the generations, they are the ones with the least inhibitions, the least sceptism. We spent the evening talking about the why and how of ministering to children in our church and wider community, and various issues and challenges were raised, including the issue of children making too much noise during the services.<br />
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One of the greatest gifts Jill gave us was reminding us what love looks like to children and their parents. It’s been so long since there’s been a decent child population at St James, people have forgotten what love looks like for the children and parents in our midst. We need to rethink and relearn what love looks like in our church and how to generate it in the community. What occurred to me as I listened to the discussion was that noise is really a red herring issue. If we get on with the core business of loving people, not attracting people, not converting people, not keeping people entertained or busy, REALLY loving people, issues like noise take care of themselves.<br />
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Jesus knew this of course, that’s why he made his greatest commandment all about Love. As the great cartoonist Michael Leunig puts it: Love one another and you will be happy. It is as complicated and simple as that. There is no other way. Amen.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-NZ; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>Mo Morgan is married to Kirk and lives in Wanganui with their three beautiful children. Mo is a leader at St James Presbyterian Church. She and her team lead intergenerational worship twice a month and a variety of ministries serving their community of children and families. Mo will begin her training to become an ordained minister in 2015. This blog is an extract from a sermon shared at a worship service led by Mo at the Central Presbytery's Gathering in Palmerston North in April 2014.</i></span></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-1058012703938344242014-07-01T20:35:00.000-07:002014-07-01T20:35:45.065-07:00Worshiping with OTHER people<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Do we, as parents, ever
make it through an entire worship service with our children without wondering
what other people must think? Research
undertaken by AC Neilsen for our church (Attracting New Zealanders to Spiritual
Life 2002) revealed that parents of young children do not think churches are
Kids Friendly places. We’ve worked with
many churches over the past 10 years to turn that perception and experience
around. But there's always more work to be done!<o:p></o:p></div>
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In <a href="http://www.breadnotstones.com/2012/09/worshiping-with-other-peoples-children.html">this
blog</a> Rebecca Kirkpatrick an ordained Teaching
Elder in the Presbyterian Church (USA) suggests that a change in our perception
can result in rewarding and teachable moments for our children and great
memories of worshiping together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rebecca: “Maybe it is connected to Einstein’s theory
of relativity, but I am convinced that almost all other children in the world
are better behaved, more thoughtful, and more engaged in worship than the one
child that I am related to. I am not alone in this perception. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why is this?
Why would I gladly scoop up any other child in my congregation and bring them
to sit with me during worship, while I dread trying to make it through a service
with my own son? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know for
sure that one of the reasons that worship attendance in my congregation dips so
low in the summer is because children stay in worship for the entire service
rather than being shipped off to alternative activities after the children’s
sermon. I know that for most families it is easier to just not go to church
than face the struggles of being in church next to our own children.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>A lot of it has to do with our expectations</b>: expectations about how our children should behave
in worship (or about how other people think our children should behave) and
expectations about what WE as parents are supposed to get out of worship.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is how
people describe to me their expectations for worship that are affected by
having their children with them:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->We expect
quiet and moments of reflection, time to be still for at least one moment
during a hectic week of parenting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->We expect to
be emotionally and intellectually stimulated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->We expect to
walk away feeling better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is what
we expect of our children:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->We expect
that they will value our expectations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clearly
there is a disconnect. So why do I feel so differently when I am with other
people’s children? Maybe it’s because instead of seeing that time in worship as
a time to meet my personal expectations, I see it as an opportunity to share my
love for worship with them. I am their pastor; that’s what I am supposed to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I look
seriously at my very best moments with my son in worship, I see that they are
the times when I didn't act like his mother, but instead like his pastor – when
I stopped caring what anyone else around me thought I was doing and just talked
to him about what was happening around us. When I sit with other people’s
children, it never crosses my mind to worry that people will think negative
things about me because I am engaging with a child during worship. Why should I
worry just because it happens to be my child?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We might
just have to change our expectations for what worship is about for us as
parents (and adults). What if these
were our opportunities instead:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->An
opportunity to teach our children about the intricacies of Christian worship,
and possibly reconsider its meaning for us as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->An
opportunity to shape our children into teenagers and adults who want to be in worship
with us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->An
opportunity to let the community teach our children about worship by engaging
with them and being present in worship with them on a regular basis.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-language: EN-NZ;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->And from the
Kids Friendly team: an opportunity for us to experience how children minister
to us in worship!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt; text-indent: -18pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The most
important thing that I have learned is that worship is not going to be about
meeting my needs for a while – just like I am resigned to the fact that eating
in a restaurant with my child will not necessarily be relaxing and that
vacationing with my child is not about creating a dream get-away… at least not
yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a
practical sense, one way that this has played out for my son and me is that we
sit down together during the hymns in our service. I struggled countless times
to get him to stand up straight next to me, to hold his half of the hymnal
confidently, and to sing out boldly with me. But he would always fuss and
rebel…and then I decided that even though 250 other people were standing all
around us, it was okay for us to sit together as we sang. My simple act of
sitting with him gave him the motivation to pay better attention to the hymn
and even to make an effort to sing along. And even though he assures me that
this is how he wants to play things out for the foreseeable future, every so
often he looks and me and says, “hey, let’s stand for this one,” and worships
in exactly the way I would want him to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week I
asked him if he thinks we will sit together for the hymns when he is 40 and I
am 68. He looked and me, winked, and said, “no, probably not.” I am going to
hold him to that promise.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-30948422919180988872014-06-23T16:07:00.000-07:002014-06-23T16:07:01.505-07:00Bums and Maybe's<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU6QRTfkBVCqDcAMgD7675OtIY5z9atSt9tlfh2m763BdnD9QT6bShyphenhyphenvSh_aKx96iP8SI_IWtkwaBxfGp20EsXzzFDHe84HY75y-0oxhMO47JswW15WOVr8tjXkbTXKOojOF5lEcEIiNs/s1600/DSCF3763.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU6QRTfkBVCqDcAMgD7675OtIY5z9atSt9tlfh2m763BdnD9QT6bShyphenhyphenvSh_aKx96iP8SI_IWtkwaBxfGp20EsXzzFDHe84HY75y-0oxhMO47JswW15WOVr8tjXkbTXKOojOF5lEcEIiNs/s1600/DSCF3763.JPG" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was sharing with a group of emerging children’s ministry
leaders from Baptist churches the other day.
One leader shared a heartwarming story of outreach in her
community. Grandmothers in her church
offer to open their homes once a week for a group called “Mums and Babies”. “Our husbands call it “Bums and Maybe’s” she said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I have a wicked sense of humour. Is that why I love that name! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Young church members mums and their children (“bums” on
pews/ seat people) invite non-church mums and children (“maybe’s”) to a weekly
morning tea at a Grandma’s house. “We
start with morning tea, then one of the “bums”, oops mums shares a bible story
with everyone. Then the babies, toddler
and children go off with the host grandma and a couple of others who come to
support, often bringing their own grandchildren too, to respond to the story through crafts and
play. The mums have a discussion based
on the story. At the end there is a time
for prayer and lots of the “non-Christian” mums ask for prayer and report on
how their prayers have been answered!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a wonderful way to “be church” in a non-threatening way
and introducing non-Christians to the amazing life changing stories of Jesus’
ministry on earth then and now.<o:p></o:p></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3201483947954182145.post-39713393267016785742014-05-25T22:13:00.000-07:002014-05-25T22:30:31.584-07:00Beware of burn-out<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUfEHpXh4HV1qzBgYPSXdu3eILYEog6Rhsx_cKK3DUSvgioqRT4CfMXEF29EBjhrqJC_xQgGdaImJuPz4rjkV882fcSBjRiy_iHuzMIbtrIHwGLFooKf7hwSU1hH5IkPr-ECqaAMQFh3Q/s1600/Despair-4cd70bbe892bd_hires.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUfEHpXh4HV1qzBgYPSXdu3eILYEog6Rhsx_cKK3DUSvgioqRT4CfMXEF29EBjhrqJC_xQgGdaImJuPz4rjkV882fcSBjRiy_iHuzMIbtrIHwGLFooKf7hwSU1hH5IkPr-ECqaAMQFh3Q/s1600/Despair-4cd70bbe892bd_hires.jpg" height="320" width="238" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">By Silvia Purdie</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Q: How do you know if you (or someone you
care about) could be in danger of burn-out?</span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">A: If you can relate to Psalm 38 you’re in
trouble!</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I like working hard. I like getting things
done and going the extra mile. Hey, no one gets stuck into children’s ministry
(or any ministry) because you want a quiet life! But how hard is too hard? How
much is too much? </span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">It’s worth doing a check-list from time to
time to make sure that you’re not straying into danger-ground, because burning
out is most unpleasant and destructive, and much easier to<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>prevent than to recover from. King David knew
what it was like, and he has left us Psalm 38 as a vivid guide. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">You are in danger of burning out when you
are:</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">a) SICK AND TIRED! <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“My heart throbs, my strength fails me”</i> (10). <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“There is no soundness in my flesh … no health in my bones”</i> (3). We
all get tired, but when fatigue kicks in, life becomes a huge effort. You can’t
get enough sleep. You can’t get over the flu. Your back aches, your gut cramps.
</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">b) GRUMPY. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Many are those who hate me wrongfully … who render me evil for good” </i>(19-20).
The Psalms are obsessed about enemies, ‘those people out there who have got it
in for me’. We try not to think like that in the church, but let’s face it, we
do feel got-at and unsupported at times. We try not to take it personally when
people criticise and complain or say ‘no’ to our great ideas, but it does
affect us. It’s called “death by a thousand paper-cuts”; little niggles that
over time really do hurt and diminish us. The Psalms invite us to name our
anger. Get mad at the mean-spiritedness and small-mindedness of the church. Get
mad at families that don’t provide for their kids and our society that traps
people in poverty. The danger for us caring ‘nice’ people is that our passion
gets chipped away by a thousand small disappointments. The ‘red flag’ for
burn-out is when we start getting cynical. Cynicism kills passion. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">c) WORN OUT. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I am utterly spent and crushed. I groan because of the tumult of my
heart.” </i>(8<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">) “as for the light of my
eyes – it also has gone from me.”</i> (10) Emotional fatigue is different from
physical exhaustion. Too much giving out, too much caring, wears out our
hearts. Compassion fatigue is when our boundaries crumble, we lose a sense of
‘this is not my problem’ and we take on other people’s pain. Burn-out strips
you of the ability to care at all; don’t go there!</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">d) RECOIL. A specific symptom of burn-out
is instinctively pulling back from any demands on you. Psalm 38 describes this
beautifully: </span><i style="font-family: Tahoma;">“I am like the deaf, I do
not hear; like the mute, who cannot speak.” </i><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">(13). Listen to the voice in
you that says “I can’t cope with this.”</span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">e) FAILURE. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“My iniquities have gone over my head; they weigh like a burden too
heavy for me.”</i> (4). Do you feel guilty for tasks not done, words that came
out wrong, a relationship gone sour? Is there a growing sense in you that
you’re just not up to this, you’re not getting anywhere? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I confess my iniquity, I am sorry for my sin.”</i> (18) Name it before
God. Drag shame out into the light or it will poison you.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I’d like to list a matching ‘a-to-e’ of
what to do to prevent and treat burn-out, but Psalm 38 doesn’t lead far out into
the light. The power of the Psalms is in the honesty of emotional experience.
Sure, they exaggerate, it’s truth in hyperbole and metaphor; hopefully you
have never felt </span><i style="font-family: Tahoma;">“arrows sunk into me”</i><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">
literally (2), but I bet you have emotionally! If any of this rings bells for
you, please find someone to talk to about it, someone who can help you be brutally
honest about how you feel, someone who will help you make changes in your life
that will protect and restore you.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">What Psalm 38 does do is cling to God; </span><i style="font-family: Tahoma;">“But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait” </i><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">(15),</span><i style="font-family: Tahoma;"> “O my God, do not be far from me, make
haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation”</i><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"> (21,22). What we know through Jesus
is that God is also clinging to us. Jesus entered our world, our life to share,
our pain to bear. He took the arrows aimed at us. Psalm 38 is a song of the cross,
cried by Jesus so that we don’t need to. We are never alone in this.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">There are heaps of excellent resources on
burn-out on the internet. Articles specific to children’s ministry include
these:</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://childrensministry.com/articles/burn-out-proof-your-ministry"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Tahoma;">http://childrensministry.com/articles/burn-out-proof-your-ministry</span></a></span></div>
<a href="http://childrensministry.com/articles/when-burnout-takes-you-by-surprise"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Tahoma;">http://childrensministry.com/articles/when-burnout-takes-you-by-surprise</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.churchleaders.com/children/childrens-ministry-how-tos/146846-burnout-proof-your-childrens-ministry.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Tahoma;">http://www.churchleaders.com/children/childrens-ministry-how-tos/146846-burnout-proof-your-childrens-ministry.html</span></a><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">This one is written for pastors but is
quite cool: </span><a href="https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/2011/05/%E2%80%9Cwhere-is-the-joy%E2%80%9D:-three-keys-to-avoiding-burnout"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Tahoma;">https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/2011/05/“where-is-the-joy”:-three-keys-to-avoiding-burnout</span></a></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Psalm 38: The Burn-out Psalm (Silvia's version)</span></span></b></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I am utterly
spent, everything I had has been poured out</span><br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I have nothing
left</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I am crushed,
all my best efforts have been wasted</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">nothing to show
for all that work!</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I was flat out
but now I am flat on the floor</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">can’t move,
can’t think</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">buried under too
many pointless tasks</span></span><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">O Lord, all my
longing is known to you</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">all my sighs,
all my frustration, all my tears</span></span><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I am battered
and bruised from constant criticism</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I can’t take a
step without being snared in a gin trap</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">My words get
twisted and used against me</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">My best
intentions fall in ruins and are crushed underfoot</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">No one cares
about me!</span></span><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">My heart aches,
my strength is gone</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">my body is
wracked with pain</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">my eyes no
longer shine with your passion</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">my ears can’t
bear to hear any more need</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">my mouth is
mute, nothing left to say</span></span><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">O Lord, I know
it’s my own stupid fault</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: 326.05pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">my own sin and
pride to try so hard</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I confess my
failure to you</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Nothing left to
do except wait for you</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Do not leave me,
O Lord!</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I have nothing
now but you</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Be close, O Lord.</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWxzchSyQ5I2QJ7i2Gt694nFj__h0EDnZiCeK0F01tlqrO4MLKSmUZZKyw_fRYZI5MT3VzbSDp9k-NIFoCv0hqjxgyxEkyNfeTWv-h28yAbitMP_XMkPLGM5U4lp-Ac_Q6cPNTxxxiUk0/s1600/Silvia.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWxzchSyQ5I2QJ7i2Gt694nFj__h0EDnZiCeK0F01tlqrO4MLKSmUZZKyw_fRYZI5MT3VzbSDp9k-NIFoCv0hqjxgyxEkyNfeTWv-h28yAbitMP_XMkPLGM5U4lp-Ac_Q6cPNTxxxiUk0/s1600/Silvia.jpeg" height="200" width="193" /></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><em>Rev Silvia Purdie is the minister of Milsom Combined Church in Palmerston North. She is a wonderful Kids Friendly champion and advocate. Silvia is married to Rev Chris Purdie and has three sons.</em></span><br />
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11722269544256786839noreply@blogger.com0