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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Taking (some of) Christmas Back by Kaila Pettigrove

What is your reaction when you see Christmas decorations in the supermarket before October has finished? For some people, Christmas decorations/trees/stockings are what make the holiday season “feel like Christmas.” Merchandisers have definitely picked up on and exploited this. The sooner they get us into the Christmas spirit, the sooner we are ready to do our Christmas shopping! How do we keep our excitement and anticipation, without getting hijacked by the materialistic storm?

I am an unabashed enthusiast when it comes to celebrating. Silly hats, candles that won’t blow out and paper streamers are still not beneath me at the ripe age of 43. So when I married a man who runs the other way when he sees Christmas decorations and hides when the Christmas tree appears; we needed to do some compromising. When our children came along, there were Peace Summits held into the wee hours of the morning.

Over the years, I have gleaned from many sources ways to take back my Christmas Season and make time to reflect. Does that mean that on Christmas eve I am dressed elegantly, sipping sparkling grape juice and reading the Christmas story in Latin by candlelight? Hardly! I still experience all the stress of prizegivings, Christmas Pageants and end of year parties. However, our family has decided on two traditions that are non-negotiable and we make room for them. I’ve outlined these below in case you might like to give them a test drive this year.
The Progressive Nativity

Sometime before the beginning of December (hopefully) we gather together to unpack our nativity scene. I inherited this gem from my grandmother who spent years collecting the pieces. If you don’t have a set yet, perhaps your tradition could be to make/buy new pieces each year as presents for one another. (Kids Friendly has a great pattern for a knitted nativity for those who are handy with the needles!) Once all the pieces have been unwrapped and remarked over (Oh look, the little shepherd!!!) they are placed at one end of the piano top. The stable is placed at the other end. On the first day of advent, the Angel Gabriel is placed (by my son and youngest child, Gabriel) on his hook at the top of the stable roof.

My daughters then choose an animal or person to move closer to the manger. (Usually it is Mary and Joseph, but this varies from year to year as our animal-loving instincts sometimes win out and the sheep get first dibs.) Each day (or as often as we remember to do it) we take turns placing one or more creatures closer to the stable. On Christmas eve, Baby Jesus is placed in the manger with great excitement and panache. WARNING: For several years in a row I have had to HIDE Baby Jesus to keep excited people from plopping him into the manger (when no one is looking) before the Big Day.
The Modular Advent Calendar

Tiring of the “MAY WE HAVE OUR CHOCOLATE NOW?” routine that overtook our advent reflections, I finally prevailed upon a generous grandparent to bestow upon us a re-usable advent calendar. It is made of sturdy pressed cardboard and is shaped like a Victorian House. There are several numbered doors and windows which open into little boxes of varying shapes and sizes. If you have a woodworker in your family, this could be an excellent project! Sometime before advent I fill each box with one of the following: a scripture verse pertaining to the prophesy or Christmas Story, a small treat, one of our nativity characters, or a “challenge” for a family activity (e.g. tell each person in the family your favourite thing about them). Each day the children alternate who opens the Advent door to find the surprise. This is usually done just before dinner so we can talk about what was found and how it relates to Christmas. NOTE: This is a lovely ideal that actually ended up quite stressful in its execution. This year, my daughters (ages 10 and 12) have offered to help me prepare some of the boxes. This means one third of the boxes won’t be a surprise for them, but they are excited about coming up with new things to put in them and surprise their family. I am excited about only needing to come up with ideas for eight boxes instead of 24!!! Now, each day will be very different and each year will be too.

The best part: My daughters are taking ownership of a tradition and a faith that once only surrounded them is now a part of them. In the flurry and rush of the pre-Christmas season, they know there is a place of calm where they can celebrate and thank God for His precious Gift in their hearts. My prayer is that their brother will one day join them as he grows in his faith…and their father will no longer complain about the Christmas tree.


Kaila Pettigrove is a part-time Kids Friendly Coach in Auckland. She is married to the effervescent Glen and together they have three children. 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Noise by Mo Morgan

This morning my 2 ½ year old son popped into my bed at around 5:30am. He chattered away to me for an hour or so before convincing his Dad to go downstairs and get breakfast on. I dragged myself downstairs a short time after. A shower and coffee usually perks me up and gets me going. On a normal day, the next hour or so goes pretty quickly. There’s lunches to make, chores to be done, a piano to be practiced, a husband to kiss good bye, homework bags to find, uniforms to pop in the dryer because you forgot to bring the washing in last night, bags to pack, 3 kids to strap in to car seats, kids to deposit at school and kindy... then I try and put that to one side to focus on what I might be doing that morning.

That’s the start of my day. It’s always busy often noisy. Sometimes the noise is happy and that’s ok. On a good day, my children embody the passage ‘make a joyful noise all you people.’ Sometimes, not so much. There are days when the noise my children make is the sort that wears you down. Sometimes I wish they would be still and know that I (I mean, GOD) is God.

And my children are just one of the noise makers in my life. Everywhere we go, there are noises filling up the airspace, images looking to catch our attention. Some of it we have little control over. Whether we like it or not, there are companies and organisations everywhere, trying to catch our attention. A recent study demonstrated that on average we see 600 advertising images per day. We notice probably 75 of them. Our brains can’t truly notice or process as many at 600 messages a day, so we instinctively skim the surface, browse, graze, take in a glimpse. Most things, even if they relate to values we find important, will evaporate into the busyness of our day. Marketers know this. It’s common knowledge that people today are dealing with absolute sensory overload. So these days marketers go to extreme measures to attract our attention. They know that they only have our attention for a second, if that. If they want us to remember their product, they need our emotional engagement to buy or at least investigate the advertised product or service.

There are other forms of noise and distraction we do have more choice over. These days we are living in a world where mothers take pride in multi-tasking, busy-ness is a virtue, teenagers talk to each other across the room on their cell phones and everyone’s willing to be interrupted by a Facebook update. Our lives can easily become distracted and disconnected, and how we handle the noise and distraction around us is changing our culture.

People of the new generation are busy. Busier than ever before. As the church tries to connect with people in the community, should it join the competition for people’s attention? Tempting. But I don’t think so. One of the unique things the church has to offer people who are overwhelmed by busyness and disconnectedness and distraction, is an alternative. Opportunities and spaces to ‘be’ as well as ‘do’. Moments which allow people to ‘let go’ and experience the peace that can be found from just ‘being’. Time to dig a bit deeper, reflect on The Story, think about what’s meaningful and important – not just to us personally, but to the world around us.

It is a counter-cultural idea but that’s what our leader specialises in. In the gospels, Jesus consistently advocates for being a counter-cultural example in the world. ‘Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think.’

But as well as offering an alternative to the distracted disconnected lifestyle, the church has more to offer people in our communities. The church is called to do more than just connect or engage. We can leave that to advertising agencies. What the church has to offer is the same thing it has always had to offer: Love. I am convinced that God’s love is infinitely more satisfying than anything money can buy on the internet. The story we live by is all about love. And I believe we are not only called to offer it, but also called to generate it in the community. That is our challenge, that is our call.

What does love look like? Well the answer to that’s going to look different depending on your context, depending on the people in your community. I belong to St James in Whanganui East. Something special has been happening at St James recently. New people have started coming to church. I don’t just mean people defecting from other churches, I mean people who haven’t been to church before.

Recently we had the wonderful, wise, Jill Kayser visit us to start us on the journey to become Kid Friendly. Jill reminded us that if we wish to offer anything to people in our communities, then children are a good starting point, because of all the generations, they are the ones with the least inhibitions, the least sceptism. We spent the evening talking about the why and how of ministering to children in our church and wider community, and various issues and challenges were raised, including the issue of children making too much noise during the services.

One of the greatest gifts Jill gave us was reminding us what love looks like to children and their parents. It’s been so long since there’s been a decent child population at St James, people have forgotten what love looks like for the children and parents in our midst. We need to rethink and relearn what love looks like in our church and how to generate it in the community. What occurred to me as I listened to the discussion was that noise is really a red herring issue. If we get on with the core business of loving people, not attracting people, not converting people, not keeping people entertained or busy, REALLY loving people, issues like noise take care of themselves.

Jesus knew this of course, that’s why he made his greatest commandment all about Love. As the great cartoonist Michael Leunig puts it: Love one another and you will be happy. It is as complicated and simple as that. There is no other way. Amen.

Mo Morgan is married to Kirk and lives in Wanganui with their three beautiful children.  Mo is a leader at St James Presbyterian Church.  She and her team lead intergenerational worship twice a month and a variety of ministries serving their community of children and families.  Mo will begin her training to become an ordained minister in 2015.  This blog is an extract from a sermon shared at a worship service led by Mo at the Central Presbytery's Gathering in Palmerston North in April 2014.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Worshiping with OTHER people

Do we, as parents, ever make it through an entire worship service with our children without wondering what other people must think?  Research undertaken by AC Neilsen for our church (Attracting New Zealanders to Spiritual Life 2002) revealed that parents of young children do not think churches are Kids Friendly places.  We’ve worked with many churches over the past 10 years to turn that perception and experience around.  But there's always more work to be done!

In this blog Rebecca Kirkpatrick an ordained Teaching Elder in the Presbyterian Church (USA) suggests that a change in our perception can result in rewarding and teachable moments for our children and great memories of worshiping together.

Rebecca:  “Maybe it is connected to Einstein’s theory of relativity, but I am convinced that almost all other children in the world are better behaved, more thoughtful, and more engaged in worship than the one child that I am related to. I am not alone in this perception.

Why is this? Why would I gladly scoop up any other child in my congregation and bring them to sit with me during worship, while I dread trying to make it through a service with my own son?

I know for sure that one of the reasons that worship attendance in my congregation dips so low in the summer is because children stay in worship for the entire service rather than being shipped off to alternative activities after the children’s sermon. I know that for most families it is easier to just not go to church than face the struggles of being in church next to our own children.

A lot of it has to do with our expectations: expectations about how our children should behave in worship (or about how other people think our children should behave) and expectations about what WE as parents are supposed to get out of worship.
Here is how people describe to me their expectations for worship that are affected by having their children with them:

·         We expect quiet and moments of reflection, time to be still for at least one moment during a hectic week of parenting.
·         We expect to be emotionally and intellectually stimulated.
·         We expect to walk away feeling better.

Here is what we expect of our children:
·         We expect that they will value our expectations.

Clearly there is a disconnect. So why do I feel so differently when I am with other people’s children? Maybe it’s because instead of seeing that time in worship as a time to meet my personal expectations, I see it as an opportunity to share my love for worship with them. I am their pastor; that’s what I am supposed to do.

When I look seriously at my very best moments with my son in worship, I see that they are the times when I didn't act like his mother, but instead like his pastor – when I stopped caring what anyone else around me thought I was doing and just talked to him about what was happening around us. When I sit with other people’s children, it never crosses my mind to worry that people will think negative things about me because I am engaging with a child during worship. Why should I worry just because it happens to be my child?

We might just have to change our expectations for what worship is about for us as parents (and adults).  What if these were our opportunities instead:
·         An opportunity to teach our children about the intricacies of Christian worship, and possibly reconsider its meaning for us as well.
·         An opportunity to shape our children into teenagers and adults who want to be in worship with us.
·         An opportunity to let the community teach our children about worship by engaging with them and being present in worship with them on a regular basis.
·         And from the Kids Friendly team: an opportunity for us to experience how children minister to us in worship!

The most important thing that I have learned is that worship is not going to be about meeting my needs for a while – just like I am resigned to the fact that eating in a restaurant with my child will not necessarily be relaxing and that vacationing with my child is not about creating a dream get-away… at least not yet.

In a practical sense, one way that this has played out for my son and me is that we sit down together during the hymns in our service. I struggled countless times to get him to stand up straight next to me, to hold his half of the hymnal confidently, and to sing out boldly with me. But he would always fuss and rebel…and then I decided that even though 250 other people were standing all around us, it was okay for us to sit together as we sang. My simple act of sitting with him gave him the motivation to pay better attention to the hymn and even to make an effort to sing along. And even though he assures me that this is how he wants to play things out for the foreseeable future, every so often he looks and me and says, “hey, let’s stand for this one,” and worships in exactly the way I would want him to.

This week I asked him if he thinks we will sit together for the hymns when he is 40 and I am 68. He looked and me, winked, and said, “no, probably not.” I am going to hold him to that promise.”



Monday, June 23, 2014

Bums and Maybe's


I was sharing with a group of emerging children’s ministry leaders from Baptist churches the other day.  One leader shared a heartwarming story of outreach in her community.  Grandmothers in her church offer to open their homes once a week for a group called “Mums and Babies”. “Our husbands call it “Bums and Maybe’s” she said.

I know I have a wicked sense of humour.  Is that why I love that name!

Young church members mums and their children (“bums” on pews/ seat people) invite non-church mums and children (“maybe’s”) to a weekly morning tea at a Grandma’s house.  “We start with morning tea, then one of the “bums”, oops mums shares a bible story with everyone.  Then the babies, toddler and children go off with the host grandma and a couple of others who come to support, often bringing their own grandchildren too,  to respond to the story through crafts and play.  The mums have a discussion based on the story.  At the end there is a time for prayer and lots of the “non-Christian” mums ask for prayer and report on how their prayers have been answered!”


What a wonderful way to “be church” in a non-threatening way and introducing non-Christians to the amazing life changing stories of Jesus’ ministry on earth then and now.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Beware of burn-out


By Silvia Purdie


Q: How do you know if you (or someone you care about) could be in danger of burn-out?

A: If you can relate to Psalm 38 you’re in trouble!

I like working hard. I like getting things done and going the extra mile. Hey, no one gets stuck into children’s ministry (or any ministry) because you want a quiet life! But how hard is too hard? How much is too much?

It’s worth doing a check-list from time to time to make sure that you’re not straying into danger-ground, because burning out is most unpleasant and destructive, and much easier to  prevent than to recover from. King David knew what it was like, and he has left us Psalm 38 as a vivid guide.

You are in danger of burning out when you are:

a) SICK AND TIRED! “My heart throbs, my strength fails me” (10). “There is no soundness in my flesh … no health in my bones” (3). We all get tired, but when fatigue kicks in, life becomes a huge effort. You can’t get enough sleep. You can’t get over the flu. Your back aches, your gut cramps.

b) GRUMPY. “Many are those who hate me wrongfully … who render me evil for good” (19-20). The Psalms are obsessed about enemies, ‘those people out there who have got it in for me’. We try not to think like that in the church, but let’s face it, we do feel got-at and unsupported at times. We try not to take it personally when people criticise and complain or say ‘no’ to our great ideas, but it does affect us. It’s called “death by a thousand paper-cuts”; little niggles that over time really do hurt and diminish us. The Psalms invite us to name our anger. Get mad at the mean-spiritedness and small-mindedness of the church. Get mad at families that don’t provide for their kids and our society that traps people in poverty. The danger for us caring ‘nice’ people is that our passion gets chipped away by a thousand small disappointments. The ‘red flag’ for burn-out is when we start getting cynical. Cynicism kills passion.

c) WORN OUT. “I am utterly spent and crushed. I groan because of the tumult of my heart.” (8) “as for the light of my eyes – it also has gone from me.” (10) Emotional fatigue is different from physical exhaustion. Too much giving out, too much caring, wears out our hearts. Compassion fatigue is when our boundaries crumble, we lose a sense of ‘this is not my problem’ and we take on other people’s pain. Burn-out strips you of the ability to care at all; don’t go there!

d) RECOIL. A specific symptom of burn-out is instinctively pulling back from any demands on you. Psalm 38 describes this beautifully: “I am like the deaf, I do not hear; like the mute, who cannot speak.” (13). Listen to the voice in you that says “I can’t cope with this.”

e) FAILURE. “My iniquities have gone over my head; they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.” (4). Do you feel guilty for tasks not done, words that came out wrong, a relationship gone sour? Is there a growing sense in you that you’re just not up to this, you’re not getting anywhere? “I confess my iniquity, I am sorry for my sin.” (18) Name it before God. Drag shame out into the light or it will poison you.

I’d like to list a matching ‘a-to-e’ of what to do to prevent and treat burn-out, but Psalm 38 doesn’t lead far out into the light. The power of the Psalms is in the honesty of emotional experience. Sure, they exaggerate, it’s truth in hyperbole and metaphor; hopefully you have never felt “arrows sunk into me” literally (2), but I bet you have emotionally! If any of this rings bells for you, please find someone to talk to about it, someone who can help you be brutally honest about how you feel, someone who will help you make changes in your life that will protect and restore you.

What Psalm 38 does do is cling to God; “But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait” (15), “O my God, do not be far from me, make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation” (21,22). What we know through Jesus is that God is also clinging to us. Jesus entered our world, our life to share, our pain to bear. He took the arrows aimed at us. Psalm 38 is a song of the cross, cried by Jesus so that we don’t need to. We are never alone in this.

There are heaps of excellent resources on burn-out on the internet. Articles specific to children’s ministry include these:

http://childrensministry.com/articles/when-burnout-takes-you-by-surprise
http://www.churchleaders.com/children/childrens-ministry-how-tos/146846-burnout-proof-your-childrens-ministry.html


Psalm 38: The Burn-out Psalm (Silvia's version)


I am utterly spent, everything I had has been poured out
I have nothing left
I am crushed, all my best efforts have been wasted
nothing to show for all that work!
I was flat out but now I am flat on the floor
can’t move, can’t think
buried under too many pointless tasks 

O Lord, all my longing is known to you
all my sighs, all my frustration, all my tears 

I am battered and bruised from constant criticism
I can’t take a step without being snared in a gin trap
My words get twisted and used against me
My best intentions fall in ruins and are crushed underfoot
No one cares about me! 

My heart aches, my strength is gone
my body is wracked with pain
my eyes no longer shine with your passion
my ears can’t bear to hear any more need
my mouth is mute, nothing left to say 

O Lord, I know it’s my own stupid fault
my own sin and pride to try so hard
I confess my failure to you
Nothing left to do except wait for you

Do not leave me, O Lord!
I have nothing now but you
Be close, O Lord.


Rev Silvia Purdie is the minister of Milsom Combined Church in Palmerston North.  She is a wonderful Kids Friendly champion and advocate.  Silvia is married to Rev Chris Purdie and has three sons.



  


Friday, March 28, 2014

Why I want our children to have faith

I was driving my nearly 16 year old son to an audition in Auckland City this week so had a rare opportunity to chat with him (thankfully there’s no internet in the car!). I asked him if he’d decided what to give up for Lent yet as we are now halfway through this season. I also questioned his understanding of why our family gives up things for Lent. His reasonings and thoughts were slightly challenging and raised some doubts about my effectiveness in raising children of faith.

After years of wonderful nightly faith rituals with our late surprise gift from God, I now struggle to find opportunity to talk and do God stuff with our college son. My faith is incredibly important to me and my profound hope is that my three children will continue in it.

Jennifer Grant’s article in Christianity Today “Let’s not bully our kids into faith” and her reasons for wanting her children to remain in the faith really resonated with me.

Christianity is part of their DNA

Rejecting their faith would be like refusing one's race or ancestry or trying to forget the song your mother sang to you every night before bed. My kids might set it aside for a while – as I have done in different periods of my life. They might revise it and find another way to interpret and live it out. They have chosen Christ, were baptized, confirmed, and raised in the church. They can't possibly fling off their faith like an ill-fitting coat; it's part of the fabric of who they are.

A good church/faith community will be there for them

When they encounter loss, they will be sustained by God and by their faith communities. As much as I hate the thought, I know my kids will experience great pain in their lives. I also know being in relationship with God and being part of a faith community will help my children live through those hard times.

The love of God will sustain them; I want them to live in awareness of God's presence and of God's good gifts. Being in community with others who practice their faith will help.

Christ establishes a priority to love and serve.

Following Christ keeps us from dancing along with our culture's trashy siren songs. Among other things, our culture insists that buying things makes us happy, that the only people of value are those who are strong and beautiful, and that personal satisfaction should be our primary goal as human beings.

In contrast to that, my children have been taught from their earliest years that, as Christians, our job is to love and serve others, ever looking for the image of God in every person we encounter. Real joy comes from opening ourselves to others; I want my children to be joyful people who embrace others with Christ's love.

But as much as I believe these things – and more – about the benefits of living a life of faith, I cannot force them into it. There comes a point (and I'm experiencing it) when I will no longer be able to insist that they go to church. I won't be able to tuck them in at night with a prayer. I won't have the opportunity to engage with them as often as I’d like about how I see God working in the world or the ways I see the Spirit of God in them.

I'm at the point where I just have to hope that my mothering hasn't imprinted them in damaging ways. I hope that I've shown them what living a life of faith can look like and, mostly, that I've reflected God's love and grace to them while they have been young and vulnerable.

In the new hold-your-breath thriller Gravity, there is a poignant moment when Sandra Bullock's character faces death and feels drawn to the God whom she has never known. (Suffering and near-death experiences often do that for people.) She says, not knowing the words she speaks are in fact a prayer, "I've never prayed. Nobody taught me how."

I know my kids will face all kinds of deaths throughout their lives. The death of loved ones. Of dreams. Of relationships. For hope in those moments and so many others, I'm glad that I have taught them to pray.

But really, their spiritual lives have never been up to me; they've been between them and God all along.

Jennifer Grant is the author of Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter, MOMumental: Adventures in the Messy Art of Raising a Family, Disquiet Time (forthcoming, 2014), and 12: A Daybook (forthcoming, 2014).





Thursday, March 13, 2014

It’s not rocket science (or is it?) by Jill Kayser

I was teaching at a Fresh Expressions course (Mission Shaped Ministries) in Auckland the other night on the topic “Children and all ages” (go figure!)  The material we teach is given to us, but fortunately we are allowed a bit of “poetic license”.  I was irritated that in an hour and a half presentation promoting all-age Fresh Expressions there was no reasons given as to why children offer such a wonderful (and obvious) opportunity to churches wanting to reach the “unchurched”.

I’ve been ranting about this for 10 years now….so off I went again while course participants furiously scribbled down my “rocket science”.

Why should we include children?
  • ·       “Children are the church of today, not the future.” (John Westerhoff, Will our children have faith?)  Children need to be recognised as vibrant , life-giving participants in our churches today!   Tomorrow (or in the future) we may not have a church (if we keep marginalising children) and our children will very likely not stick around if we don’t truly value, love, involve and disciple them today.
  • ·         “The single remaining common interest or entrance point for non-churched people in the life of the church is children…we have a wide-open door to almost every family in every community worldwide when we love and serve their kids.”  (Bill Hybels).  And, “theunchurched’ are open to participating in all age church led activities and worship.” (AC Neilson: Attracting New Zealanders to Spiritual Life 2002).
  • ·         Children are more open.  They don’t hold negative stereotypes of the church and are excited by new experiences like all age interactive worship. 
  •           And children are more open to the gospel.  According to the Barna Research Group 32% of people come to faith as children (5 – 12 years),  4% as teens (13 -18 years) and  6% as adults.   By the age of 13 spirituality is largely set in place.
  •           And in more recently Australasian research undertaken by children’s ministry legend David Goodwin for his master’s thesis “Lost in Transition – or not”, 80% of the adults in our churches today came to faith as children and participated in some form of ministry (most likely Sunday School) offered by the church.
So what we do on Sundays really matters.  And every other day of the week too, when we have opportunities to connect with children and share the love of Christ.  I never thought of mainly music, kids club, holiday programmes as Fresh Expressions of church, but of course they are.  Every day of the week in New Zealand and beyond, thousands of “unchurched” children and families are meeting Jesus in the Christians who serve and love them (or not!).  

You can buy David Goodwin’s book “Lost in Transition – or not” or download a free copy of his thesis.  Contact david.kidsreach@gmail.com

 
For children crossing the bridge from no church to church
is an exciting adventure!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Innocuous Christianity? by Silvia Purdie (Rev)



I got mad yesterday! I am not easily offended but this got to me ... an article in the March 'Touchstone' newspaper published by the Methodist Church entitled "Opinion swings against Bible in Schools?" http://www.methodist.org.nz/touchstone (click on the March link), page 9

The article is about the debate at St Heliers school in Auckland, which has been well publicised in the media, and focuses on the people who laid the complaints against the Bible in Schools programme. I have nothing against hearing from people who disagree with us. And it is good to raise the profile of what Churches Education Commission are doing. But what really got to me was this statement: "The programmes seem rather innocuous".

Innocuous??!! If our outreach programmes are indeed simply innocuous we should issue a Cease and Desist order immediately and all give up and stay home!

To call any activity offered in the name of Jesus Christ 'innocuous' is to me an insult of the highest order. I don't mind conflict. I can handle the possibility of failing or offending, but to be bland, mild, unobtrustive - count me out!

It reminds me of the entry published in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy after Ford Prefect had spent years researching planet Earth: "Mostly harmless"!

It's not true, of course. Bible in Schools is not 'innocuous'. Certainly it does its best to not offend people who are not Christian, and it is carefully designed to fit within our secular education system, focusing on values rather than beliefs. But what it does is deeply significant, deeply subversive. To have an explicitly Christian presence in a school is to stand for Christ. To tell children stories of people of faith is to enlarge their imaginations, to create space for the intangible and untestable.

Our local school in Milson has this week also been the topic of heated debate after a parent made a complaint against the new 'Champions' programme. The school immediately crumbled under the pressure from just one person, and closed the doors to CEC during school hours, before the fired-up new team even had a chance to begin. Our church was very disappointed, as were many others in the town.

Why are people so afraid of conflict, do you think, that one vocal person's problem rapidly became everyone's problem?

Let's be more afraid of blandness. Whatever we do, lets not be innocuous!

Silvia Purdie is the minister of Milsom Combined Church in Palmerston North.  She is a wonderful Kids Friendly champion and advocate.  Silvia is married to Rev Chris Purdie and has three sons.