EASTER according to a five-year-old

After attending our church’s ‘A Walk through Holy Week’ family event including 7 interactive stations of the cross, a children’s booklet with things for them to look for and do at each station and supper, Sinead, our then five year old drew her response. Her Dad (Jason Goroncy) asked her to tell him about her drawings.... 

‘Anyway’, she said, ‘it’s all about Jesus’.

‘But what about the empty tomb?’ asked her theologian father.

‘We don’t worship the tomb, daddy’, she said. ‘Jesus is the bit that matters’.

‘So why is there a cross?’

‘Because people always seem to forget about that bit, and because that’s how Jesus remembers himself to us’.

‘But what about the yellow bit?’

‘Ah. That bit is just to make it pretty, silly’.

Welcome to our table

I’ve been having a few conversations about children being invited to the communion table.  Most have been positive, in my view, as churches are taking seriously the call to “let the children come” and inviting children to participate in our holy sacrament. 

I heard of one church where the session decided not to proceed with their Kids Friendly self-review because they don’t believe children should be invited to receive communion.  Their minister contacted me to clarify if “children receiving communion” is a requirement for Kids Friendly churches.  

It’s NOT a requirement.  However when churches tell me children are not invited to participate in communion, I ask them to encourage their leaders to read others’ views on the topic (Kids Friendly has some very good articles on the subject if you’re interested), discuss what they read together and prayerfully consider their decision. 

Most Kids Friendly churches decide to invite children to the table and carefully plan how they will educate children about this sacrament and how their communion liturgy engages children.  One minister shared:  “Last Sunday I decided to ask children to help me prepare the table and assist elders in serving communion.  This was a first for our church and it was the most powerful communion service I’ve ever experienced.”

My research has revealed no theological reason for excluding children and the too often cited “they don’t understand” excuse is, I believe, unfounded.  My understanding is that communion is a meal of grace for which no one needs to qualify.  Fortunately in our denomination previously churches that included children in communion had to explain their reason for doing so, now it is the reverse. 

We Were All Children Once by Cate Burton

Cate is a ministry intern at 

St Peter’s Presbyterian in Tauranga (NZ). 

She is also an avid Kids Friendly 

practitioner and advocate.

We were children once, we all were
Eyes wide, wild with excitement
Grinning and giggling with infectious delight
Faces bright, alight with adventure
Feet quick for exploration
Open hearts to love, hearts open to be loved
We were all children, we still are

Author and play write J. M. Barrie, created the character Peter Pan; a boy who never grew up, a boy who’s friends were fairies and other lost boys who lived together like brothers, a boy who desperately needed his mother but was too afraid to admit it.

We’re not as defiant as Peter Pan, I don’t think. He didn’t want to grow up. We don’t mind it so much. But what would it mean for us to take a leaf out of Peter Pan’s book (or a feather out of his hat), and not be too quick to relinquish our youth or lose our identity as children – even when our childhood years have long since passed?

 It’s not about being childish, it’s about being childlike.

In Christian circles we’ve been guilty of advocating that our children should be seen and not heard. I think we’ve got this wrong. We’ve mistakenly seen our children as the church of tomorrow. We’ve said these things with our words and we’ve said them with our actions.

Our society at large is often guilty of seeing the elderly as no longer contributing and being “put out to pasture”. We haven’t always said it with our words but we’ve said it with our actions and we’ve said it in the things that we haven’t said. Sadly, this has happened in parts of the Church too. I think we’ve got this one wrong as well.

Our generation of children is not the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today. In the same way, our older generations are not the church of yesterday; they are the church of today too. Right from our infants to our elderly, and everyone in between, we are all the church of today. The church is the family of God, and we are all children of God – nothing changes that; not age, not ability, not anything.

So, unlike Peter Pan, let us be boys and girls who do grow up, but just like children, let us all enjoy and delight in life. This is the life God has shared with us through his Son by the Spirit. This is the life that grows in us as we grow in Christ. This is the life.

We were all children once. We still are.

Enjoy.

Cate Burton
A child of God

Digging by Silvia Purdie

            

The small spade slices through the sand
The small boy intent with effort
body straining
shoveling the sand out
and carefully dumping it on the growing pile.
The hole gets so big he almost falls in
toes gripping the edge to balance
heels lifting.
“Wuw” he congratulates himself
breathing hard
muttering under his breath.
“My hole is big!” he declares,
“I’m making a sandcastle.
A really big one.”
patting it down
scooping more.
Hole and pile,
work and pleasure
inseparable.

This summer our family was blessed to have a week camping in the sun on 90 Mile Beach. It was an astonishing experience, utterly different from normal life, up there where the oceans meet and tide and fish and heat and light become the rhythms of living.

We are home now, embarking on 2013, looking forward to all that a new year brings. My work is in parish ministry. Milson Combined Church is a smallish suburban church in Palmerston North, with a real heart for children and families. I also do what I can to support and promote Kids Friendly and youth ministry around the district. My husband is an Army Chaplain and we have 3 boys.

There’s always plenty to do. If we have the energy. And that’s a big part of what the Kids Friendly team does here in the Manawatu and all over, encouraging people to sustain their passion and commitment to children and families ministry. And a big part of that is keeping the work and pleasure inseparable.

As I watched little Arli digging on the beach, I loved the boundless energy as he worked. I reflected on how it’s like that with us and our ministries. We can work and work when we feel safe, when there’s other people cheering us on, when we’ve had a drink and a biccie, when we have the right tools and we can see that we’re getting somewhere!

I wonder which of those is missing for you as you begin all over again, another year of children’s ministry.

I wonder what your heart would say if you stopped to listen, what you need for yourself to sustain you this year.

Duty isn’t enough. Ideas aren’t enough.

I’m someone who’s full of ideas. I can always see the “Wouldn’t it be great if …!”

For us in Milson, it would be great if we had a relationship with our local school. It would be great if our preschool music families came to church. It would be great to get to know our neighbours. And we made good progress on these goals last year, and I have big hopes for this year. But each of these is way easier said than done, despite our best efforts. The knock-backs and rejections you get when you try to reach out and invite in, can be hard on the soul, draining on the energy.

In our own strength we really wouldn’t bother at all.

But it’s not just us, is it? It’s the Spirit of Jesus at work within us, that’s what works! And Jesus is like little Arli, digging away, never running out of sand, digging deep, building up, patting down, pouring out blessings inexhaustibly, inviting us again and again into his cycle of generosity. “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.” (Luke 6:38)

May the Spirit of Jesus Christ be real to you again in this moment, and through the many moments this year, as you plan, as you prepare, as you work, when energy comes easy and when you are tired, as you meet with children and adults, as you leap and dance or sit and listen, as you tidy up afterwards, as you rest. God bless you with pleasure in your calling. Amen.

This blog was written by Rev Silvia Purdie, minister of Milsom Combined Church in the Wanganui Manawatu Presbytery.  Silvia is an avid Kids Friendly supporter, encourager and practitioner.

Making a difference

I’m in our sunny capital city this week.  A highlight of my Wellington trips is my stay with Kids Friendly champion Anna Davis and her family. 

Anna Davis - making a difference

Anna is a passionate, highly skilled and life changing children’s minister at St John’s in-the-City Presbyterian.  I met Anna 15 years ago when I started my role as children and families worker at St Heliers Presbyterian.  At the time Anna was the only other “employed” children and youth worker in Auckland.  I was in awe of her accomplishments at Somervell Presbyterian and greatly appreciated her advice and encouragement in my new role. 

When Emily and I were researching “best practise” children’s ministry during the Kids Friendly pilot in 2004, we interviewed Anna to tap into her wisdom and experience.  I rate Anna as one of our top children’s ministry leaders (and I’m pleased to say in 2012 there are now many outstanding children’s leaders joining her ranks!)  Despite her accomplishments, Anna still wonders if she is making “any difference”. 

From where I stand Anna and her committed team of over 80 volunteers are making a huge difference as they impact lives and grow disciples for Christ. 

Eight pages are dedicated to children’s ministry in St John’s latest annual report (with the front cover illustrated by children and entitled “Children of God”) which is, I believe, just another indication of this church’s commitment to ministering with children and youth.

In her report Anna reminds her church that: “If children are at the centre of life in the kingdom then we must bring children into the very centre of our faith community so that they can minister to us.  As a church committed to being Kids Friendly, we need to keep seeking ways of partnering with children so we can encounter the living God together as fellow Christians journeying along the way and growing in faith.”

I remember my wise minister Martin Baker gently reminding me in my early days of children’s ministry at St Heliers to avoid trying to quantify my successes.  He assured me that my ministry was touching and changing lives, but suggested that rarely would I find tangible evidence of this. 

Over the years in my Kids Friendly ministry I have learnt to “do my best and let God do the rest”. 

However every now and then we do receive wonderful affirmation and confirmation of our contributions to God’s work.  

Nikki and Ryhan
Khandallah Presbyterian

For me this comes when I hear of a church that has made real progress in becoming Kids Friendly.  A visit to Khandallah Presbyterian this week inspired me as I heard  and saw how new minister Ryhan Prasad and children’s ministry leader Nikki Hughes are connecting with and serving community children and families and including them in an intergenerational Kids Friendly worship service.

And then I received an email from another of our Kids Friendly churches this week saying:  “We are now experiencing real positive results of being Kids Friendly for so long.  Our minister is taking 11 baptisms this month and three confirmations.  I want to let you know that the launch of Kids Friendly all those years ago was just the injection so many of us needed.  The off-shoots are the churches of the future.” 

We all love to know that we have helped make a difference.  Tell someone  you know how they are making a difference this week.

“Edutainment” or faith formation

Ivy Beckwith, one of my favourite writers on children’s ministry (her books “Post Modern Children’s Ministry” and “Formational Children’s Ministry” are available from the Kids Friendly library) critiques the schooling model most churches use to facilitate the spiritual formation of children. 

  

“I wonder if school is the best way to help children love God and live in the way of Jesus – especially when church school has morphed into what some label ‘edutainment.’

School is good for teaching some things important to the life of faith, such as the elements of prayer or the facts of a Bible story, but is it the best vehicle for helping kids become followers of Jesus? Perhaps what is needed is a formational model of children’s ministry with some schooling elements, rather than our current model of school peppered with some formational elements.”

Beckwith suggests there are three equally important elements of a formational model of children’s ministry: story, ritual, and relationship. 

Use her suggestions to inform and review your own ministry with the children of your church.  Read more in a “Time to grow”.

“Preach the Gospel at all times – and if necessary use words?”

When you look out your window into the street and around the community, what are today’s children doing and what are their pressing unmet needs?

In her article “A Modern Day Sunday School Movement” Genelda Wagon inspires us to follow in the footsteps of Robert Raikes, the Sunday School movement founder, and look out of our window to discover the needs of young people in our community.

“How are you able to respond to the current needs of children, and become a part of the church re-envisioning its mission and ministry for the 21st Century?” she asks.  Read more…