Making a difference

I’m in our sunny capital city this week.  A highlight of my Wellington trips is my stay with Kids Friendly champion Anna Davis and her family. 

Anna Davis - making a difference

Anna is a passionate, highly skilled and life changing children’s minister at St John’s in-the-City Presbyterian.  I met Anna 15 years ago when I started my role as children and families worker at St Heliers Presbyterian.  At the time Anna was the only other “employed” children and youth worker in Auckland.  I was in awe of her accomplishments at Somervell Presbyterian and greatly appreciated her advice and encouragement in my new role. 

When Emily and I were researching “best practise” children’s ministry during the Kids Friendly pilot in 2004, we interviewed Anna to tap into her wisdom and experience.  I rate Anna as one of our top children’s ministry leaders (and I’m pleased to say in 2012 there are now many outstanding children’s leaders joining her ranks!)  Despite her accomplishments, Anna still wonders if she is making “any difference”. 

From where I stand Anna and her committed team of over 80 volunteers are making a huge difference as they impact lives and grow disciples for Christ. 

Eight pages are dedicated to children’s ministry in St John’s latest annual report (with the front cover illustrated by children and entitled “Children of God”) which is, I believe, just another indication of this church’s commitment to ministering with children and youth.

In her report Anna reminds her church that: “If children are at the centre of life in the kingdom then we must bring children into the very centre of our faith community so that they can minister to us.  As a church committed to being Kids Friendly, we need to keep seeking ways of partnering with children so we can encounter the living God together as fellow Christians journeying along the way and growing in faith.”

I remember my wise minister Martin Baker gently reminding me in my early days of children’s ministry at St Heliers to avoid trying to quantify my successes.  He assured me that my ministry was touching and changing lives, but suggested that rarely would I find tangible evidence of this. 

Over the years in my Kids Friendly ministry I have learnt to “do my best and let God do the rest”. 

However every now and then we do receive wonderful affirmation and confirmation of our contributions to God’s work.  

Nikki and Ryhan
Khandallah Presbyterian

For me this comes when I hear of a church that has made real progress in becoming Kids Friendly.  A visit to Khandallah Presbyterian this week inspired me as I heard  and saw how new minister Ryhan Prasad and children’s ministry leader Nikki Hughes are connecting with and serving community children and families and including them in an intergenerational Kids Friendly worship service.

And then I received an email from another of our Kids Friendly churches this week saying:  “We are now experiencing real positive results of being Kids Friendly for so long.  Our minister is taking 11 baptisms this month and three confirmations.  I want to let you know that the launch of Kids Friendly all those years ago was just the injection so many of us needed.  The off-shoots are the churches of the future.” 

We all love to know that we have helped make a difference.  Tell someone  you know how they are making a difference this week.

“Edutainment” or faith formation

Ivy Beckwith, one of my favourite writers on children’s ministry (her books “Post Modern Children’s Ministry” and “Formational Children’s Ministry” are available from the Kids Friendly library) critiques the schooling model most churches use to facilitate the spiritual formation of children. 

  

“I wonder if school is the best way to help children love God and live in the way of Jesus – especially when church school has morphed into what some label ‘edutainment.’

School is good for teaching some things important to the life of faith, such as the elements of prayer or the facts of a Bible story, but is it the best vehicle for helping kids become followers of Jesus? Perhaps what is needed is a formational model of children’s ministry with some schooling elements, rather than our current model of school peppered with some formational elements.”

Beckwith suggests there are three equally important elements of a formational model of children’s ministry: story, ritual, and relationship. 

Use her suggestions to inform and review your own ministry with the children of your church.  Read more in a “Time to grow”.

“Preach the Gospel at all times – and if necessary use words?”

When you look out your window into the street and around the community, what are today’s children doing and what are their pressing unmet needs?

In her article “A Modern Day Sunday School Movement” Genelda Wagon inspires us to follow in the footsteps of Robert Raikes, the Sunday School movement founder, and look out of our window to discover the needs of young people in our community.

“How are you able to respond to the current needs of children, and become a part of the church re-envisioning its mission and ministry for the 21st Century?” she asks.  Read more…

Where are the children?

I met with Karen Warner my Baptist colleague this week.  We had lots to catch up on.  She wanted to hear all about my sabbatical research and I about the children’s ministry course led by Scottie May at Carey Baptist College.  Karen is a great resource to me as she  always has a pile of good books to recommend and this time gave me a copy of her current favourite article “Where are the children?”  As we shared our last few months we were intrigued to find that we had both been exploring the same topics, namely, how our (and our churches’) ministry with children grows lifelong disciples for Christ.

So armed with a list of “must have” books to buy, I headed home to catch the last rays of afternoon sun and read the recommended article with highlighter poised.  The number of highlights on any article is a good indicator of success in my view and this essay exploring the emerging church’s spiritual formation of children is now almost completely fluorescent yellow!  The renowned authors (McLaren, Csinos, Jennings and Yust) challenge the “emerging faith communities” for forgetting about the children when it comes to spiritual formation.

“While adults are being spiritually formed and transformed according to the values and theology of the emerging church, children within the same faith communities continue to receive instruction from curricula and resources that espouse and promote the old paradigm of modernistic Christianity.”  They suggest that while many adults in the emerging movement feel they have to unlearn much of what they were taught as children, they persist in teaching their children the same things.

Their suggestions for addressing this pull together much of what I’ve read from favourite writers Ivy Beckwith (Formational Children’s Ministry), John Westerhoff (Will our Children have Faith?) and Thomas Groome (Sharing Faith), but it’s great to have one article that presents “practices and approaches to ministry that we believe to be foundational in nurturing the spirituality of children.”

I like their holistic approach to children’s ministry and their recognition that no one movement holds the key.  “While liturgical churches have typically used a gradual-socialisation model of spiritual formation, conversional churches have typically used a decision/follow-up model.  It is becoming more clear to us that gradual-socialisation churches need to call children and young adults to intentional commitment and conversional churches need to attend to the gradual identity formation of disciple-making as modelled in Jesus’ three years with his disciples.”  Spot on in my view!

Have a read.  It’s well worth it.

Christian Education. What are we doing?

For a long time I have been pondering our (the church’s) strategy and beliefs about Christian Education. If astute “church shopping” parents asked the minister (or children’s/youth ministers) what their child of age 3 will be taught over the next 15 years, I suspect they would not get an entirely satisfactory or comprehensive answer. I imagine that even the best of our leaders would struggle to articulate what they “teach” children from the ages of 3 to 18, or of what their Christian education comprises. This is not a pointed criticism, but rather a feeling of inadequacy in myself, to really to get to grips with how we understand and effect “Christian education”.

I’m entering my last week of sabbatical at Cambridge University and at lunch today fellow student Phil asked me if I had achieved what I set out to do. “No” I said. I explained my frustration in not finding answers to what Christian education really is. I’ve read lots of good books (and had a great time of reflection, rest and recreation, so I’m not complaining), but reading copious books on the necessity of nurturing children’s spirits and inviting them to belong and participate in the community of faith, is “preaching to the converted”.

With this Phil says: “Have you read Thomas Groome?” and whips out a 600 page tome which is looking far too good by page 12!

“I am convinced that the learning outcome of Christian religious education should be more than what the western world typically means by “knowledge”; that it is to engage the whole “being” of people, their heads, hearts and life-styles, and is to inform, form and transform their identity and agency in the world,” says Groome in Sharing Faith.

Yes this is what I’ve been looking for!

“My hope is to broaden the philosophical foundations of Christian religious education beyond epistemology and people’s ways of “knowing”, to embrace ontology and people’s whole way of “being” as human in the world,” says Groome.

“Knowledge is valid, however the incarnational principles that stand at the heart of Christianity demands a pedagogy that is grounded in and shapes people’s “ontic” selves – their identity and agency in the world. Our aim is not that people just know about justice but that they be just etc. An ontological turn in our pedagogy encourages educators to engage and inform, form and transform, the very being of people in the world.”

Why did I wait seven weeks to meet Thomas Groome?

Groome suggests that Christian Religious Education shares three characteristics:

Firstly he believes it is a transcendent activity that encourages people to interpret their lives, relate to others and engage in the world in ways that reflect their faith.

Secondly he thinks it is an ontological activity in that it engages and shapes people’s ways of being and influences their behaviour with God, self, others and the world.

Thirdly Groome suggests that Christian education is a political activity. (Greek Politike = the art of enabling the shared life of citizens). The knowledge one gains through instruction influences how one lives as social beings.

I’m concerned by some church’s emphasis on individual salvation. I sense that some of our leaders measure their success by how many children raised their hands to accept Jesus as their personal saviour at a given event. Don’t get me wrong. I love to hear that children have chosen Jesus as their friend and Lord. However I think our role as Christian educators and mentors is to help children understand what this really means and how their Christian faith is a lifelong adventure that can transform their lives and the world they live in?

“The focus of Christian faith is that people are to effect in history the values of God’s reign, love and justice, peace and freedom, wholeness and fullness of life for all as demonstrated by Jesus,” says Groome. “Such values cannot be lived outside of the public realm. The notion of “private” Christianity is a contradiction in terms. Christianity demands what God wills. Fullness of life for all on every level of human existence: personal, interpersonal and social/political.”

Watch this space……

“At home” in church

We spent Jubilee weekend with Mike and Ann Bossingham in Market Deeping. I met Mike online when researching for the Kids Friendly pilot all those years back. Mike runs “Family Friendly Churches Trust” and coaches churches how to be more “Family Friendly”, so we are kindred spirits. He wrote a great book called “Building Family Friendly Churches” which would have been good to find before I wrote the “Kids Friendly Ideals and Self-review” resource. Still it made a good read and confirmed that we were definitely on the right track when generating “best practise” resources.

Two years ago when I was in the UK for CWM business, I had the pleasure of spending a fun night with Mike and Ann and they “rescued” and nurtured me the next day when I learnt that I needed to rush back to New Zealand for our son Blake’s emergency brain surgery. Mike bundled me into his car and drove me all the way to Heathrow so I wouldn’t have to negotiate London trains and tubes in my traumatised state. Mike, Ann and their church prayed for us and Blake as we journeyed that challenging road. So needless to say we are “firm” friends and it was lovely to introduce them to my husband Paul and Blake and share some Jubilee traditions with them.

On Sunday we attended the Methodist church of Market Deeping where Ann ministers. It was great to be welcomed by café style seating and lots of friendly faces. The service was informal and child friendly. Mike interviewed me on my work and asked me what a Kids Friendly church looks like. Fortunately I was able to cite the church service I was participating in as one example of “Kids Friendly-ness”. The young children there were sitting up front with their families and older members and were fully engaged and participating in every aspect of the worship, including dancing impromptly to the songs.

At the end of the service Blake turned and said to me: “I like this church. It feels like home.” That really is the challenge for our church isn’t it? Helping people to feel “at home”, when perceptions of home can differ so radically.

My German friend Marlene told me as she writes her sabbatical report and reflects on the “Fresh Expressions” literature and experiences, she wonders if we haven’t become too consumer driven by designing so many different types of churches for our post modern world.

What are our options? We certainly can’t keep sitting in our churches waiting for people to come and enjoy our concept of being “at home”. There’s no one way to “be church”. I admire those who are finding new ways to engage with the “un-churched” and “de-churched”, because it takes guts and it requires faith that the Holy Spirit works with us as we strive to “Make Jesus Christ Known”.

I’m a fan of Paul’s strategy:

“20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”

1 Corinthians 9:20-22 New International Version (NIV)Cross references:

Quenching a Thirst

Last sunny Friday in Cambridge my sabbatical German friend Marlene and I headed off for St Philip's Anglican school to attend Thirst Cafe Church.  On arrival in the school lounge we found lots of mums, toddlers and babies drinking coffee and chatting.  Leaders Sue, Rachel and Ruth greeted us with warmth and offered us refreshments.  Sue explained that they were meant to be showing Rob Bell's Rhythm DVD but they couldn't find the TV so there may be a change of plan. She didn't seem the least bit fazed much to Marlene's surprise who told me later: "in Germany if this happened, it would be a catastrophe!" 


After about 20 minutes of chatting, drinking and eating, the TV appeared and we all settled down to hear Rob Bell.  I love Nooma as I always seem to hear something fresh no matter how many times I've viewed them.  Sue says they often repeat them because the (mostly) mums like and respond to them.  " I didn't want to get people to come to do things they didn't want to do or feel comfortable with and felt that a Nooma DVD was something that people could relate to. They did not have to make any kind of outward or verbal response to it if they did not want to. I was also determined that I wasn't going to start a discussion around the DVD subject. God surprised us again because we showed the DVD, and afterwards somebody visiting asked questions and began a discussion centred around faith. The conversation started and has been going ever since! We very, rarely direct these conversations. They just happen naturally and we discuss all manner of spiritual issues which often carry on long after Thirst is over and have helped to develop and nurture people in the faith."

And that's exactly what happened.  Rob Bell reminded us that we all play in the orchestra of life, it's just that sometimes we are out of tune.  People offered their views, some introducing their comments with "even though I'm not a Christian.....".

After this Sue asked who would like prayer and then prayed for people and annointed one of the participants with oil in preparation for an operation this week.  It all flowed beautifully.  Children pottered around, chatting, playing, eating while "church" happened.  No one tried to keep children quiet or still and no child caused any disruption.  Sue announced that there would be three baptisms next Sunday and invited all to bring a plate and join the celebration also taking place at the school. She reminded participants that they were invited to Alpha on Tuesday and Eucharist at Thirst Cafe Church next Friday.

And then the kettle was back on for another cuppa!

Sue explained to me that small groups have emerged out of Thirst.  There is also intentional pastoral care as leaders and participants find ways to support those in need.  One New Zealander loves to cook so teaches other mums how to cook healthy meals and snacks for their kids.   Another mum feels she can't contribute financially but loves to garden for others.  And prayer is always on offer!

"The Christians amongst us at Thirst became known as people who would pray for people if they wanted it. We would often pray with parents in the playground, many of whom had no idea what they were asking for. We would find that people would simply stand where they were, bow their head and expect us to pray on the spot. When I look back on that period now, I suppose it was a case of God gathering people because they began to get healed, come to faith, and wanted to know more about Christ and how he could transform lives. It was about discipling them through relationship because many of them did not have any links with traditional church at all and some had never entered the doors of a church. They then began to attend Thirst and are an integral part of us now."

Sue and her friends started Thirst Cafe Church "officially" in 2007 but says that it grew out of 11 years of relationships and prayer that all started with mums chatting outside the classroom while waiting for their children to come out.

"I went through a phase of being concerned about the views that some people inside the traditional church have of people outside of the church family. The question was asked of us, 'Why don't some of these (unchurched) people come to church?' My response was to wonder why on earth they would! The church is an alien environment for many nowadays. We ask, even expect people to come and sit on a pew and sing songs, followed by a talk or lecture (as they view it). Both of these activities are unusual for many who have never been to church before. I wonder, what on earth possesses us in church to think that others outside of the church might want to do that? It is the Church that is alien in our culture, we are the unusual one, the minority."

"I was talking to God about it and told him, 'It's no wonder people don't go to church.' I 'heard' the question, 'What would they come to then?' I thought of what we did as friends together: breakfast, drink coffee, pray together, laugh together, have relationship and support each other. I said to my friends, 'Let's keep on drinking coffee but, if it's going to be church, it has to have more to it than a coffee morning. It's about transforming the community that we live in through our relationships, and in the power of the Holy Spirit."



"We don't know how Thirst will develop; we don't know what's around the corner. We are wondering about our next step but we know that we need to be obedient to God and follow his leading."